This blog, really a primitive sort of homage is dedicated to my brother, long a devotee of plaid flannel for most any purpose but in particular shirts. I have come more recently to the flannel shirt, having bought one on sale at a local discount store, and now I can’t help myself. I went into a retailer a couple of weeks ago to get a new belt and found another flannel, my fifth in as many months. On sale for $5.50 – can you believe it? Well, actually most of us can because it’s the end of the season in New England. Back to my brother, however. Flannel is a staple, more accurately the staple of his wardrobe. In fact, I really can’t say when I’ve seen him in anything else other than my niece’s wedding a few years ago. Apparently flannel hasn’t yet hit the dress formal market. He is able to layer heavier plaids over lighter ones, creating a dazzling visual effect that simply defies description. Actually the term “speechless” comes to mind. I personally don’t care particularly for the “heavy duty” flannels, the ones that lumberjacks usually wear, although I have a couple of denim winter shirts with flannel linings, so I guess that may count for something, It could be said that mismatching plaids are somewhat jarring to the more traditional dresser, but combining widely differing plaids can be as exhilarating as mismatching socks. There is a jaunty air of quirkiness about it. Of course, as was said about Sheldon Cooper on “Big Bang Theory”, so too it can be said of my brother that “he’s looking at quirky in the rear view mirror.”
Nobody has really set down the “rules of engagement” for plaid flannel. We all know that Lamar Alexander used the red flannel shirt as a statement in his presidential run to spectacular effect. So, a grateful nation thanks you, President Alexander, for contributing that to the fashion culture. Oh, wait . . . . . We need to jumpstart the plaid flannel once again – perhaps Mike Pence wouldn’t mind wearing a nice assortment of tartan flannels on his next African tour. A photo of a presidential cabinet meeting, everyone wearing a plaid flannel shirt would be such a shot-in-the-arm, popularity-wise. Or Tim Gunn could do a feature on Project Runway next year – one lonely competition devoted just to mismatched flannels. Then everyone would know that plaid flannel is not just for moonshiners in Kentucky or characters on Duck Dynasty. At least one of the Property Brothers wears flannel shirts, so that kicks its prestige up a number of notches. However, it’s the contractor, not the real estate agent, so we really can’t say that flannel has hit the business / professional level.
My affection for flannel derives from it’s warm, cozy feel. Now that I’m retired, personal comfort has replaced fashion sense or personal dignity. There are, however, some lingering questions. For example, is there a “season” in which wearing flannel might be considered generally acceptable? I have been told, in fact who hasn’t, that a true, sparkling white can only be worn between Memorial Day and Labor Day. After that, all articles of clothing must be “winter” white, which is pretty much a regular white that’s been washed three or four thousand times, taking on a patina of age and the fresh crispness of a groundskeeper. In this area, my brother can’t be considered an advisor as he wears flannel year-round, removing or adding layers as the temperatures fluctuate. So, perhaps, considering its vital role as a trendsetting instructional tool, we can use this column to set up some long-neglected guidelines.
Rule #1: Flannel will be at its peak between Columbus Day (that’s Thanksgiving for our Canadian readers) and Easter. The darker patterns – red and black, navy blues, hunter greens, for example really work their finest visual effect during the winter months. The fall, and only if one must break out their flannels earlier, September and October should be reserved for earth tones and the colors of foliage – tans, browns, perhaps a dash of olive green, or various shades of orange.
Rule #2: Between Easter and Memorial Day (for those that are still likely to feel a chill), a transition to pastels is preferred. Here, we recommend blues, yellows, and greens in lighter, softer shades. Pink should not be encouraged in any formal way as it tends toward the flamboyant and just lacks a certain, je ne sais quoi. White and gray could be added to the palette here if it doesn’t become a habit.
Rule #3: Plaid flannels in the warmer weather should migrate seamlessly into plaid golfing pants. Much of what we see on the golf course, shaking our heads in derision or laughing and pointing, is in fact a multicolored natural extension of the classic plaid flannel. Thus, the plaid mystique is maintained while preserving comfort.
Let’s concede that the time has come for the plaid flannel shirt to take its place in fashion history alongside the toga, the medieval tunic, the bow tie, and the feather boa. It needs to leap headlong over cardigan sweaters and polyester pants. Think how much more enjoyable and relaxing Henry VIII’s daily life would have been in flannel shirts with adorable matching plaid hats. He’d have been on the cover of every major publication from Palace Lifeto Fun with Head-Chopping. Gandhi would have made such a fashion statement with a few splashes of plaid rather than just those fashion-backward white robes. Had Napoleon told his troops to “pack your flannels – it gets cold in Moscow”, history would have been irreversibly changed. We’re entering a new era where plaid flannel is poised to become the new gold standard in clothing – it’s the new wool or cotton. OK, actually it is wool and cotton, but let’s not split yarn here. As my brother would say, “it goes with anything”. How true. This could be as big as denim socks or corduroy scarves. If the White House can bring back coal, flannel shirts deserve nothing less. Perhaps a national day of recognition – a “Flannel Shirt Day”, right after Thanksgiving when everyone is full of turkey and in a good mood. OK – is everybody in?
I'm Thinking...No! 