My wife and I were watching one of our favorite tv shows last night, and I was closely watching the opening credits. That in itself tells you that I’m becoming increasingly attention deficit. Anyway, I noticed something curious. Under the title, “Executive Producer”, there were three names. Then the title popped up again with two more names. Next, a name pops up of someone that’s actually on the show listed by himself, again as “Executive Producer”. That led me to wonder – what exactly do all these people do? Are there rankings of EP’s, job descriptions or specific functions? Is it possible for an EP to do virtually nothing and get paid? That could be an ideal new career path for me. All this fruitful speculation leads me to providing my readers with valuable information, much of which is totally made up by me, to assist you in understanding the complex and nuanced nature of media production.
Executive Producer #1– The Creator: this person created the “vision” for the show. He or she is usually in “discussion” (arguments) with the stars, the director, the caterers (“did I see cantaloupe on the lunch buffet again?)”, person(s) that changes lightbulbs or hands out tickets to the opening. EP1 will be the one supervises the scripts, demands the edits and rewrites, and exercises “creative control”. Often, EP1 is one of the show’s stars or featured actors, and can thus offend everyone off screen as well as on.
Executive Producer #2– Information Transfer: this person would typically have three or four cell phones (as switchboards are so 20thcentury), wear headphones for effect, and patch the caller through to whomever seems appropriate. This is much like the person in a doctor’s office or city hall who asks, “how may I direct your call?” They would be heard saying things like, “you need to speak to the key grip – let me put you through to his best boy (who turns out to be a best girl), or “She can’t be reached until 2024. Why don’t you try back then?” or “Executive Producer #1 will be in touch, and it won’t end happily for you.”
Executive Producer #3– Minor Casting: this person has the weighty responsibility for hiring the people you see but don’t see. These folks are listed in the credits as “man in bathroom flushing toilet”, “woman in window with cat”, “boy selling newspapers without success”, “lady falling off barstool”. These valuable cast members are on screen for about a tenth of a second, usually have no lines beyond a possible grunt or scream, and yet appear in the credits. (I suspect, but have no court-worthy evidence, that they are all members of EP #3’s immediate or extended family. Some in-law will no doubt hope to parlay that flushing toilet into a starring role in Jurassic 27 – Finally, Lethal Injections.)
Executive Producer #4– The Money Person: this executive producer is required to come up with the money for the show’s production costs. There may be several in this role (so the second batch appearing under “Executive Producer” is this group. They should be “Executive Producers $$$”), typically they’ve lined up other people’s money because their own money is tied up in someone else’s show or fast food franchises down the street from the studio. They’re responsible for the calls that go something like this. “Bring buckets of cash – cantaloupe isn’t cheap, you know.” No, I made that part up. Funding is usually wired in from accounts in Bahrain for “tax purposes”.
Executive Producer #5– The Publicist: this person, possibly the most important and least recognized of all, handles the publicity good and bad. They put together the promos, send note-worthy items to the media outlets, and sometimes if retribution is divinely inspired, get to slap the stars who post ugly stuff on Twitter. In the industry, it’s called “damage control”. The Federal Government has many such “executive producers”. EP#5 also has to put a positive spin on the show’s star who’s gone to Africa to do charity work because their adoptive children, who they named Poxpuff or Firefly, don’t want to see them or spend time with them. The publicist position carries much the same luster and prestige as White House Press Secretary.
Executive Producer #6doesn’t really have anything to do with the show or the film. He or she has no official duties, not even an office, but may have invested some money, or perhaps they’re known for something else entirely and attaching their name to the production is of some benefit to both. “Wow, the former Director of the CIA executive produces this show!” or “Didn’t that Executive Producer used to be a pope?” It allows this producer to bill themselves as such at cocktail parties. “What do you do, Bill? Oh, I executive produce ‘Dancing With the Turtles’. I’m really in touch with climate change.” Or, she’s on the board of a major bank, and thus making her an “executive producer” sucks in other corporate donors. Or he’s a Middle Eastern prince who’s always wanted to be in film and tv, and now’s his big chance – a check with lots of zeros and a spot in the credits.
I’m very pleased to have had this opportunity to enlighten and answer some questions that I know my readers have had. To clarify, I myself am Executive Producer of “I’m Thinking . . . .No.” My duties include many of those listed above, and in all modesty, I write and direct it all myself as well. Now, if I could just figure out a way to bring on someone important from a bank in Dubai, who could also be a prince, as co-executive producer . . . . . .
I'm Thinking...No! 