Every so often, items pop into our consciousness that provoke a variety of responses – amusement, anger, depression, frustration. It runs the emotional gamut. Someone shooting at a rival gang member down a street crowded with children trick-or-treating. There was no thought process, it was a see-and-shoot reaction. In this case, probably a young person whose brain hasn’t developed a fully mature sense of “I really shouldn’t do that.”
In our local news, and this will more than likely show up on a “true crime” television show or podcast, a young man went into a church during a wedding, shot the presiding clergy and the bride, and hit the groom over the head with his handgun. Ok, that part is truly appalling, but about a week later, the shooter was meeting with a court-appointed attorney when he beat up the attorney, sending him with serious injuries to the hospital. Guess what – none of the other attorneys in the court system would therefore defend him. The authorities have him, shall we say, dead-to-rights for the wedding shooting because the wedding guests piled on him and held him until the police arrived. No question of mistaken identity, waiting for the DNA results to come back, or lack of eyewitness accounts. So, what exactly was his point, beating up the one person trying to help him? I’m thinking that when they lock him up forever, maybe some kind of lobotomy might not be a bad idea either. He’s obviously not much more than a mass of nerve impulses disconnected completely from any power of reason.
In another bit of exciting news, an alert New Yorker noticed several suspicious packages at a commuter train station. He or she called officials to report it, and after the station was evacuated and K9 bomb sniffers called in, it appears that the packages were parts for a new system that bystanders can use to report suspicious packages. How is that for hilarious? As the smoke clears – ok, let me rephrase, as details emerge, it seems that the parts were mislabeled and left at the wrong place. First responders took a huge sigh of relief, and presumably some discussion back at the station.
Many sports talking heads are making a meal of comments made by a quarterback at a recent NFL game a week or two ago. The quarterback had a live microphone attached to his helmet, and his comments were picked up by the networks. If I may be so bold, when, in an age when coaches hold clipboards out to their mouths so that lip-readers on Skylab can’t pick up their instructions, and professional baseball players have to mask their communications behind their gloves, why are we disbursing microphones among the playing combatants? Whose brilliant idea was that? It’s apparently not enough that we require athletes, managers, and coaches to conduct pre, post, and midway through interviews, now they need to be recorded as the games are unfolding too. That can’t be a distraction, can it? Next, we’ll have remote cameras like the ones the police use, attached to their helmets and cleats so we can really get a sense of what it’s like to be in the pileup. Interestingly, all of the commentators have been talking about the player’s comments. No one has even remotely suggested that perhaps the comment should have remained on the field, not available to the press box. Maybe we could call this incident “A Mic Too Far”.
As many of my faithful readers know, I’m an addicted to shows like “House Hunters”, “Home Renovations”, and those sorts of shows. In a broadcast today, Drew Scott was trying desperately to find a home for a couple with three adorable children who featured prominently in the search for a new home. If anyone could have used a sitter, this family could, but I digress. Mother, after discarding one of the home choices, uttered the definitive statement of the whole genre. She said, and I quote, “if we could just find what I want, at a lower price I want to pay, that would be ideal.” Yes, indeed, wouldn’t it just? Why don’t sellers, when they’re renovating for a sale, just anticipate every possible buyer’s tastes and requirements? Is that really too much to ask? Just know that somebody walking through doesn’t want the beautiful but dark wood cabinets you just installed. They wanted white instead. Drew, who I greatly admire, commented in response something about “slightly dated”. I’d like to have pointed out to him that he and other television designers are driving that “datedness” by changing design styles like most of us change underwear. No renovation can possibly keep up with what they’re doing on tv. We in the real world pretty much have to go with what we see and like, and hope for the best. Kitchen islands are no longer for food preparation. They’re for eating breakfast on a high stool. NEWS FLASH, DESIGNERS: We senior citizens don’t want to be that far away from the floor! Any activity described as “climbing up” is neither safe or healthy for us.
While I try very hard, appearances notwithstanding, to avoid political situations, this fairly leaped on the page. The President’s reelection campaign is launching a “Black Voices for Trump” initiative. Yes, indeed, that’s a workable strategy because everything Mr. Trump’s administration has done to date has been minority-friendly, from border walls to student loan forgiveness to the new billionaire tax code. Or his remarks about crime in Chicago, and let’s not forget his tweets about the late Rep. Elijah Cummings’ district in Baltimore. Yup, this is going to be a sure-fire fix on his approval rating and guaranteed to paint him as a “man of the people”. I’d like to suggest a couple more outlooks in that same vein, like “Gays for Idi Amin” or “Christians for the Ayatollah.”
Moving on, as you may know, Herself and I, live in a condominium complex comprised of multiple “villages”. On Halloween, the entire town descends on us, locust-like, to trick or treat during the prescribed hours. I had bought out the contents of a major candy manufacturer in anticipation of the awaited pirates, fairy princesses, Spidermen, Mary Poppinses and Freddy Kruegers. The “witching hour” was 6 o’clock, and I was bringing in dinner when I tripped over the carefully laid out tray table with baskets of candy and, and consequently went flying. Bits of dinner, shattered plates, and candy as far as the eye could see. My injuries were minimal – limited to cuts on one hand, my left and dominant one. Bandages didn’t seem to be stemming the tide, so off I went to Urgent Care to be stitched up. That ended the trick-or-treating at our house for the evening. Undone by a basket of candy and a tray table strategically placed by the front door. This occasion rather cemented my adult dislike for Halloween.
We were in getting flu shots the other day. The lady ahead of us in line was getting her shingle shots. Both of her private health insurance plans rejected the payment, and after the pharmacist tried putting them through several times, the lady handed over her credit card to pay the fee herself – $160. I casually mentioned that perhaps various comprehensive medical plans being touted by presidential candidates were looking better and better. She turned around and made a derisive noise and scowled at me. Probably a Republican. OK then, let’s take a moment to ponder some of life’s ironies and wrinklies. For example,
Why does a character in a television murder mystery go out for an evening walk, alone, when a killer is roaming about?
Why does my phone pester me to update my password, and then tell me that they have no record of my account under that username?
Why are insurance companies making critical judgments about what medical treatments we do or do not need?
Why do people in little cars weave dangerously in and out of traffic on the highway?
Why do people with “Save the Planet” stickers on their cars exit the grocery store with cartloads of plastic bags instead of reusable ones?
Why do people driving behemoth, “super duty” pick-up trucks either travel at 30 mph or 80 – there’s no in-between? A tragically large percentage don’t seem to have working directional signals either. Did they come from the factory that way?
Why are so many self-proclaimed Christians working so hard to keep people out of the country, needy people away from life-saving benefits, or to protect gun rights?
Why do people on their phones in airports talk so loudly or share their conversations with all of us via speakerphone, and then glare at you when you look at them?
Why do people over sixty think for one moment that long hair makes them look younger or is flattering? Unless you’re Jane Fonda, it’s not working. And while we’re on the subject of personal appearance, why do people of all ages think that stuffing themselves into inordinately tight-fitting clothes like a sausage is somehow “slimming”? It really makes you look like a live snowperson.
And finally, why do telemarketers always call during my nap time?
I'm Thinking...No! 