That, when you receive a medication in the mail that you’ve been using for years and years, it comes with twelve pages of instructions, warnings, and information too technical to understand? I get it if it’s a first-time, newly prescribed medication. But if it’s something you’ve been taking since you broke 30 and you’re now on Social Security, (or in the medical / insurance community, we call it “preexisting”), then is it really necessary to cut down three trees and wad them up into a tiny ball to let you know everything you possibly could about it? If it still works, I’ll assume the best. Thanks so much.
That, when you need to get some place, there is a truck right in the middle of the road unloading? I was heading out to pick up The Daughter at the bus station one bright and sparkling morning. We’re at the end of a single outlet roadway, which, at that moment, had a large box truck delivering what looked to be a full kitchen load of new appliances. The crew decided to park right in the middle, and then unpack each appliance as they took it off the truck, leaving pallets, plastic wrapping, and all that flat plastic rope they use in the driveway. I explained, quite calmly and politely for me, that I needed to get out. The crew starred at me for a few moments, then when they realized my intent, they looked a bit put-out. Really, was that my fault? Delivery trucks awfully good at blocking everything around them. They’re fond of double, triple, and quadruple parking, closing off entire streets if they need to unload something.
That some people seem to think a supermarket or the dollar store is a low-level amusement park? They wander aimlessly, at the speed of a glacier, looking at everything on the shelves in wonder and amazement. First time here, folks? Or maybe they’re looking to see if the store has installed any rides since their last visit. Often, these same folks drape themselves across the handlebars in perhaps an attempt to lower their center of gravity and reduce wind resistance.
Some folks can’t let go of Christmas? I’ve written about this extensively before, and yet some people are still violating the Christmas decoration protocols. I still see lights up, trees in the windows, all the trappings that are still awaiting the “putting away process” in late January and sometimes into February. It must be that it’s that wonderful, warm feeling and an exciting time of year, but really, people. Let it go! Move on to the chill of winter. Next year will be here sooner than you think, and you can savor the holidays once again. Unless you’re ten years old – then the anticipation will be excruciating.
That people, whose everyday vehicles are troop carriers and logging trucks, are the ones that pull right up next to me at a traffic light or an intersection? My little car isn’t much taller than their hubcaps so I can’t see anything until they pull out in their energy-efficient, 0 – 60 in two days runabouts. Sometimes the flow of traffic has changed before I can see if anything was coming at me. The whiff of diesel exhaust is a nice touch too. And while we’re on the subject of cars,
That the gas filling pipe is randomly on different sides of the car? Can’t we get together on this? I pull up to the pumps on the driver side, only to remember that in Her Ladyship’s car, it’s on the passenger side. To make an annoying situation worse, I then pull around the pumps, only to realize I have the same problem in reverse – I’m still on the wrong side. If you’re old enough to remember, some of the sportier cars had them in the center of the back, just below the bumper. That was a terrific idea, because the pump hose was just about a foot short. Why can’t auto makers get together on this, and put them all on the same side so we’re not backing in nose-to-nose with someone else. I recommend a poll on the next presidential election ballot, and the winners set the standard by which all car makers must adhere. Then, anyone whose car does not conform would get a new one, curtesy of a small tax on the 1%, who are already taking a lot of abuse anyway. And while we’re still on the subject of cars,
That people in new car ads are always driving those really attractive, expensive new cars up a mountain road, or out into the desert, or on the beach and up onto the rocks? I almost never go there, particularly as Her Ladyship is often in the seat next to me stomping on her imaginary brakes and slapping the dashboard at some driving infraction I’ve made or might make. How many new car buyers really contemplate driving deep into the Everglades, up the Matterhorn, or across the Gobi? That’s not something that I would typically ask a car salesman. “Sure it looks nice, but will it climb to the top of Tuckerman’s Ravine?”
That people on those reality shows like “Temptation Island” and “Marriage Boot Camp” utter such phrases as “I’m total shocked . . . “ and “I never saw that coming”? Really? While I’ve only seen the trailers and ads, it seems these show participants are totally taken by surprise. They apparently had no idea where this show was going. Reality shows are just chock full of unexpected twists and turns.
That when you buy something with a credit or debit card, it charges your account immediately, but when you return that same item, it takes days or weeks to have it credited back? What is up with that? Where is your money during that time? Is it bouncing around in cyberspace? Is it being held for ransom by the bank or credit card company? Or is it just hanging around with the vendor in hopes that you’ll change your mind and keep the product? This all makes me wonder.
That Presidential press conferences, the State of the Union Address, national debates and such are always on the best nights for network tv? Of course, we can record them for viewing later, but still . . . . And that requires advanced planning on my part. Why can’t my cable company record the address for me, so I won’t miss something really important, like a new episode of “Mom”? That way, if I happen to be awake at 3 AM, I’ll watch the debates and it’ll put be right back to sleep.
That pharmaceutical companies are advertising new medications at an alarming rate? Are new respiratory diseases and skin conditions popping up like volcanos in the Pacific? Are we way less healthy than we think we are? In that case, most of these medications will finish us off, if the disclaimers are to be believed. It seems to me that the drug companies aren’t spending their two thousand percent profits on research, as they want us to believe. They’re investing heavily in advertising their new products, which they want us all to “ask your doctor about . . . . . . “ (I always get a chuckle from the expert advice, “stop taking this if you’re allergic to it.” Those wise instructions are most likely somewhere in the twelve pages mentioned above, although I’ve never read through them all to find out.)
I'm Thinking...No! 