As my global readership knows, I’ve written somewhat extensively on the health benefits of napping, as well as various techniques and formats for napping successfully. Therefore, it’s high time I set up a niche market in consultation – the Nap Consultant. Actually, I’m a bit conflicted – do I call myself a “consultant”, which implies a degree of support and empathy. Or I could use the term “specialist”, which suggests a high degree of expertise and training. While we’re at it, this is not to be confused with a “sleep specialist”, who deals in sleep disorders and uses a whole array of plug-in electronics and/or medications. Nay, nay. This is pure, natural, healthy midday sleep that rejuvenates, restores, and allows human beings to extend their day well into the evening and beyond.
Let’s talk a bit about the form and structure of the nap. A “forced” nap won’t work if there’s no incentive. This merely results in starring at the ceiling and hoping for sleep that doesn’t come. It’s the timing that’s off. When you feel the eyelids drooping, then you’re heading into what I, as an expert, call “Nap Destiny.” This is the optimal nap time, and varies from individual to individual. For me, that’s from 2 – 4:30 PM. If you’ve seen that coffee commercial where people are dropping onto their desks at 3, that’s what I’m talking about. However, they use strong coffee as a “nap substitute”. Wrong, people. Give in to the nap! Wait, that could be on our logo. Forget the stimulants – the expresso, the dark chocolate, that little reddish orange bottle of energy that totally terrifies me. Yes, I’m a strong supporter of dark chocolate, but not to discourage napping. Oh, I’ve used it from time to time, for example when we’re travelling and Herself gets nervous if I put the car in cruise control and doze off. On a routine basis, however, one should never use nap inhibitors and stimulators to interfere with the normal process.
Napping has been with us throughout human existence. There are cave drawings of early man (and presumably woman) reclining comfortably next to large animals that they’ve just slain. They are resting before hauling the mastodon home for dinner. During the Middle Ages, napping was restricted to the upper classes, as peasants were working full time just keeping alive. Farmers were out in the fields or in the stable, generating income for the earls and dukes, who were napping. In the Industrial Revolution, worker bees were busy for 10 – 12 hours, while the factory owners made room in their executive offices for couches and settees, so they could catch a few zz’s during the day. We’ve had Presidents notable for their afternoon naps. Dwight Eisenhower, Woodrow Wilson, Ronald Reagan, to name just a few. If I’m not mistaken, Iran-Contra happened while Mr. Reagan had dozed off on a couch in the Oval Office. I’ve even heard rumors that Teddy Roosevelt liked to close the door on the children and get in a cat nap before dinner.
I’m back after a period of research and development. An hour to an hour and fifteen works very well for me. I’ve taken some naps that last two hours, but they usually result in Her Ladyship coming to see if I’m dead. With fair frequency, I’ll be about fifteen to twenty minutes in when our friend Lady Peacock calls with idle chitchat or to fill Herself in on the fresh disasters in her life or major disappointments of the day. That breaks the spell, where I come out of a deep nappy sleep. The luster and magic are gone, so I might as well get up and do something useful – put together an afternoon snack, go pick up the mail, or make a last-minute run to the grocery store. There’s every indication, though, that when this happens, I won’t make it through the evening without some fitful dosing. While technically “napping”, it’s completely unsatisfying and often leads to difficulty getting to sleep later.
In a previous blog, I proposed the formation of the Universal Society By and For Nappers. Perhaps we’ll edit that down a bit to the League of Nappers. Our banner will include a background of “z’s” and twinkling stars and I’ve suggested the legend, “Call me in an hour.” We could put out a professional journal, with covers of various nap sites – a hammock, a chaise lounge, a comfy couch. Perhaps we could get the rights to use Dagwood Bumstead resting comfortably on his couch. You get the picture. The person writing about “afternoon delights” completely missed the boat. The ultimate afternoon delight is a warm breeze, a rocking chair and an hour or so of uninhibited rest. Yesterday, I had an epic nap – almost two hours. The problem, though, is that I ran the risk of “over-resting”, the state in which I didn’t sleep as well during the night.
Here are the levels of consulting services I am willing and fully qualified to provide:
- General recommendations via phone, email, or text offering a basic package for setting up optimal times and locations.
- Advanced napping, which specifically targets sleep habits, exact length of time for napping, and clinical supervision of napping results – awaking refreshed, ability to perform at a high rate of productivity, not falling face-first into your appetizer at dinner, that sort of thing.
- On-site visitations. Here, a thorough inspection of napping conditions can be conducted from first-hand observation and evaluation.
While my fees may seem modest, I can assure my readers that they will be worth every penny. Napping is an investment in one’s health and well-being. In the long term, I plan to make my services tax deductible, as are medications and mileage to the doctor’s office.
So, all of my readers, Bon Snooze!!
I'm Thinking...No! 