We all have, or claim to have famous persons dangling precariously from branches of our family trees. My middle name, for example, is a family one – Hardy. My grandmother, my father’s mother, was a Hardy that reputedly came over on the Mayflower. Visiting the harbor in Plymouth, England some years ago, I found no Hardys on the manifest, so that’s probably a myth. However, one distinct feature in the family is the beaky nose. We’ve referred to it has the “Hardy” nose. My father, grandmother, two great-uncles, great grandfather, and more cousins that I can count had it. Looking up images of the famous author, Thomas Hardy, for which I should mention dramatically here, drum roll please, I’m NOT named, he too had the renowned Hardy nose. Are we related? Perhaps distantly, as the family goes back to the Norman Conquest. So too in my mother’s family, the Doyles from southern Ireland, Arthur is a family name – my grandfather’s middle name and my great-grandfather’s first name. Are we related to Sir Arthur Conan Doyle? It’s possible, and family folklore has long claimed it.
All of this being said, our dear friend Lady Peacock announced the other evening that, in a burst of boredom and an interest in ancestry, she has been tracing her roots. She had on occasion had her DNA analyzed, locating parts of England from which her ancestors came. That was interesting in itself. She also discovered some tiny bits of Scandinavian origin, which I should point out their governments will most likely deny should they be notified. However, the truly intriguing part of her ancestry makes direct connections to King Henry VIII. She is, therefore, as she’s long suspected, of a royal bloodline, having descended from the Tudors. We of her close circle have been somewhat skeptical of this lineage, but as she’s spent several hours tracing five hundred years of her family tree, it must be so. I know that the Princess and I have spent many days and weeks researching our family, and with parts of it, we can’t get much past the Civil War. So, Lady Peacock-Tudor’s revelations are astounding and, in two words, life-changing.
One must admit that, looking at a portrait of old Henry, there is a resemblance in the squared jaw, the icy stare, the defiant stance. Just a hint of the sauciness of Ann of Cleves. There is too the passion for elaborate clothing. If allowed, Lady Peacock would employ a legion of seamstresses, embroiderers and fitters to coordinate her wardrobe, funding being the major stumbling block. Shopping now in high-end stores is but a poor substitute for generations of personal clothiers that are apparently embedded in the bark of her family tree. Stateside, a proportionally sized stone turret added on to Teale Cottage and visible from the main road might be in the future, if she can get it past the condominium board. What she really needs, though, are ramparts – something she could patrol before she retires for the night. Building a moat and drawbridge, with all of the necessary excavation, on common areas might be more problematic, and just might not project the warm, friendly image she’d need to project as a newly minted member of the Royal Family. However, she could perfect a suitable wave as she rides out of Teale Cottage in a golden carriage.
This lineage explains much of Lady Peacock-Tudor’s deep connections to England, particularly to London, a city to which she is favorably disposed, and has made her own. She has travelled extensively about the Kingdom, exploring tea houses and lavender fields, visiting stately homes and buildings that might rightfully be hers by history and heredity. The British Museum, along with other museums, art galleries, and points of interest like Westminster Abby, would of course need to create private hours of viewing during her visits to the UK. The Royal Family will I’m sure embrace Lady P-T once they are made aware of the connection, and the fact that she seldom takes “no” for an answer. By virtue of her new royal status, I’m thinking that appropriate and suitable apartments should be located and renovated at Windsor Castle, much as was done for Harry and Meghan. It wouldn’t take too much – maybe there’s a spare cottage in or around Frogmore. That way, she could be close to the late Queen Victoria, with whom she shares stature and shoe size. Kensington Palace should have space too, as Prince Harry’s family has moved on. If those aren’t possible, perhaps something at Hampton Court or Greenwich would connect well to her roots. Any of those would give her a prominent location from which to dispense her wisdom, taste, and extensive knowledge of all things British, like the proper pronunciation of “scone”.
Some years ago, in a whimsical moment, I put together the design elements of what would be her coat-of-arms. Now that the need may arise for a series of banners fluttering over Teale Cottage and a large property or two in her ancestral location, here are some of the essential elements. Giving a nod to the fact that she traditionally moves at the speed of molten lava, the central escutcheon might be a snail with shell, above the legend, “I’m Running Late” or “Got Held Up At Starbucks”. Flanking this could be memorable scenes from her life – perhaps returning a meal at a restaurant, bringing something back to a store, standing next to a particularly favorable sandwich in a Parisian restaurant, conjuring memorable texts on her cell phone. These are the thin slices of life that give Lady P-T pleasure, which sadly over the years have been accompanied or followed by great wedges of disappointment. The field of this coat -of- arms should be a darker color – possibly dark blue, a signal of resistance and defiance, like Mary, Queen of Scots, tinged with sad recognition that the world does not always acknowledge her superior vision in all things.
Yes, indeed. I think Lady Peacock-Tudor could be just the person to step into a royal role similar to the ones recently vacated by the Sussexes. She would of course need a title. Off the top of my head, I’m thinking the Duchess of Cadbury, making connections both to Arthurian legend and chocolate. Lady P-T could provide them with a Royal Warrant to put on their chocolate bar wrappers. Sadly, Cadbury Castle is long gone, but the surrounding acreage is impressive and the Duchess could supervise the reconstruction. Something massive, commanding, forbidding, yet warm and intimate.
I'm Thinking...No! 