So, what happened to all the toilet paper some months back? There was a time when we could hit the supermarket and buy toilet paper in moderation – I typically would buy a package or two of four-roll, two-ply because I’m very sensitive, which would last us a week or more. All of a sudden, pandemic hit and there was not a roll to be found. Empty shelves as far as the eye could see. Hand sanitizer too, along with paper towel. For months, you could always tell where these sanitary items were in the store. Chips and snacks, sodas, greeting cards and then, nothing. Empty shelves as far as the eye could see. So, what happened? Other than those brothers in Tennessee that were stockpiling in their garages to resell online at a huge profit until the long arm of the law shut them down, who does that? It does say something about a person’s character when they see a profit to be made in panic. Symptoms of the coronavirus were fever, cough and respiratory problems. I didn’t remember reading anything about loose bowels or diarrhea.
Let’s talk just a little bit about panic buying. Here in New England, we’re used to some of it when a winter storm is predicted. Everyone runs to the store to stock up on flashlights and batteries, bottled water, and anything food item not requiring cooking. Nobody heads to the frozen food. Canned food usually gets cleaned out, along with things like sandwich meats, breads, and the like. I personally make sure we have lots of desserts – cookies, caky things, whoopie pies. Anything that gets us over the hump until the bakeries reopen and life returns to normal. I’ve seen some people stocking up on laundry detergent. I never know why, because if the power goes out, my first thought isn’t, “Let’s put in a load of laundry.”
There’s the usual run on ice melt for the driveway and walkways. People will stock up on scrapers for the car and snow shovels because, well, to be honest, and, that equipment is in the garage some place, but darned if we can find it. We had the same thing with umbrellas when the Princess lived in DC. We’d get down there for typhoon-like rains, and then have to buy new umbrellas because the ones we had were all at home. Snow shovels are like that too. Never one around when you need one, so you buy more. The upside is, about a week after buying one, you find two or three more safely tucked away where you neglected to look.
The Princess is now home for a while, having finished her degree, and happened to comment on the abundant supply of Oreos in the kitchen cabinet. I was accused of being a “cookie survivalist”. In fairness, it’s a nice variety of flavors – a couple of packages of mint, my vanilla and dark chocolate, Her Ladyship’s peanut. Collectively it looks like a stockpile or a Tennessee garage, but in reality, we’re set for any possible cookie emergency. [And a sidebar here – The Daughter has consumed a large percentage of my Dark Chocolate Oreos.] More fairness, the Princess does the same thing with bottled water. I used to buy them in six packs – plenty for us for a few days to a week. Now, however, those six won’t last a morning. I’ll put six or eight bottles in the fridge to cool, and a half hour later, there are just two left. The others will be in a semicircle around her spot on the couch, two or three in her bedroom, one or two more on the dining room table, which is her temporary office.
If you’ve read my blog titled “Our Stuff”, you know all about hoarding in the usual sense – building up possessions that overwhelm the spaces in which we live. We typically do that anyway. Every closet in the house 30 – 40 percent more in it than it’s designated capacity. When you can’t see what’s in there or find anything, our default plan is to keep stuffing in more. We have sets of dishes in the basement that are no longer used or needed, but we keep them on because they’re too good to throw out or give away. As Her Ladyship and I were both teachers, the collection of gift coffee mugs grew into multiple large packing boxes full. During the great clean-out of 2017, they went to Goodwill. In just a hint of irony, Herself mentioned recently that should the Princess need some, “We have those boxes in the basement.” I nodded and smiled.
But shopper hoarding is a different animal. That’s the irrational fear of running out of something essential in the short term. For example, Her Ladyship, back in the day, would ideally have a working stock of 8 – 10 cans of tuna. Of course, that was back in the days when a can of tuna was a usable amount. Now, the smaller cans barely fill a cracker. I was thinking the other day – we’re down to six rolls of paper towel. That’s not enough. I’d better pick up a couple more when I do shopping. We’re also down to five pounds of flour. That normally will last six months, but now, well, that won’t get us to Saturday. We really could use a second freezer because, well, you get the picture. It’s full of stockpiled meats, breads, rolls, frozen vegetables, ice cream. Plus, there are the left-overs too. That spaghetti sauce I made back in February. The soup that we had somewhere around Easter. The bread bags that have only the crusts left. But we like those for toast. The fact that we almost never eat toast is beside the point. I have been slowly migrating to shopping/hoarding for a few years now – actually since I took over a lot of the shopping. We have three containers of laundry detergent in the laundry area. I typically have two or three containers of shampoo and body wash since the dermatologist recommended it as an alternative to bars of soap. In my defense, though, I tend to pick up those items when they’re on sale. Why pass up a bargain? That’s just being sensible, characteristic of a well-ordered life. It displays a flair for organization and management, and most certainly doesn’t represent not panic buying. It’s like filling the car with gas when it gets down to half a tank. That’s simply prudent restocking.
Good news, in all of this shopping frenzy. People are beginning to unwind, to loosen up, to return to normal buying habits. Our supermarkets are no longer empty stalls in third world countries. They’re fully stocked ready for us. No longer will I need the FYI from the overnight stocker at my local grocery, “If you need paper products, a truck came in last night.” At the time it was much appreciated. Now, it feels too close to an elicit drug deal at the highway rest stop. So, there will be toilet paper. There will be hand sanitizer. There will be paper towel, hand soap, tissues. Oh, wait – could be running low on tissues. Yep, I’m down to eight boxes. Putting that on the list for tomorrow morning’s shopping. Oh, wait – better check the Oreos too.
I'm Thinking...No! 