Let’s all admit it. We were sick of campaign advertising. We became exhausted answering telephone surveys. We couldn’t stand it if one more person reminded us to vote. (In fact, when I turned on the computer to start writing this the day before the election, a little pop-up reminder about the election came up.) We were way beyond overload on headlines, “breaking news” and other updates. We’ve heard too much information. We’ve seen too many debates. I couldn’t believe that, by voting day, there could possibly be more than a dozen adult Americans that were “undecided”. So, let’s move on. Oh, wait . . . now we still had to wait a few more days for all the ballots to be counted. So . . . . we waited until Saturday, and now it looks like we’ll have to give the Trump Campaign until Thanksgiving to challenge everything, including individual lawsuits to be filed against mail-in voters in Pennsylvania, Arizona, and Georgia. There’s a rumor out on the internet, so it must be true, that he’s also filing litigation against a couple of Canadian provinces and Nepal, just in case. Once I’ve had a chance to speak privately with the Chief Justice of the Supreme Court, we’ll have a decision and start planning the inaugural.
Here’s the thing with elections. Particularly living in New Hampshire, where the whole election season kicks off about two years before we actually go to the polls, we get a steady barrage of ads as candidates stake out their turf. More than half of these people we don’t even really recognize. Is this guy the governor of what? Colorado, Washington, Ohio? The mayor of some place out in the Midwest. There’s always someone from Texas because, well, it’s Texas. Massachusetts is becoming just as highly represented. It’s like these two have been a winning combination since Kennedy and Johnson, or Dukakis and Bentsen. They go together like a horse and carriage, or not.
This year is of course the battle of the “Old Guys”. I don’t know how either of them even climbs the stairs to the stage, let alone delivers a speech. Sometimes I think it looks like they dug up Zachary Taylor and Rutherford B. Hayes, fluffed up their hair, propped them in chairs, and had them run again. They could be running William McKinley type, “front porch” campaigns only from a golf cart or a basement in Delaware.
Speaking of “front porch” campaigns, championed by James Garfield, Benjamin Harrison, and McKinley, there is an advantage to keeping close to home, or in terms of presidential campaigns, less Is more. Often with candidates, the more we see of them the less we like them. I know that’s true for me of the current White House occupant, who I shall not name because I like to maintain objectivity and lack of bias. Every morning, as I turn on the news or open my newspaper and see his name boldly announced, my initial thoughts are, “oh, dear God, what’s he said or done now.” Sometimes it’s just a mindless tweet about something that upset him, or it could be verbally attacking a national leader or country.
Presidential (or for that matter, any political) debates have taken on the dignity and respect of, well, a combination of dog fights and the running of the bulls. When, may I ask, did it become unacceptable to wait for someone else to speak? At what point did the notion of having a courteous discussion of ideas, policies, or even reality become secondary to boldly proclaiming myths and outright untruths? Does saying something untrue over and over again somehow make it true? Not really, it’s just that some folks won’t bother to check, and are thus willing to believe what they hear. Perhaps that’s the most concerning issue with “politics”. As society becomes more and more complex, it’s more difficult to separate factual information from verbal or printed diarrhea.
Let’s a make a pact to close our doors, turn off our phones, suspend our newspaper subscriptions, and watch nothing on television but HGTV and reruns of “I Love Lucy” and “The Office” in four years. Here in New Hampshire, we’ll get a jump on that, starting in February, 2021, when the next crop of presidential candidates starts visiting our beautiful state. As a working plan, though, I ask all Americans to consider the following process. Let’s decide who we like better, who has the nicest smile, who has the best handshake, who stands the best chance of getting along with other world leaders, who has the least to hide in their tax returns. If we as a country can’t even agree on wearing a face mask or standing six feet from strangers, we certainly shouldn’t be considering major policies, reforms, or what the government should be doing for the energy and pharmaceutical industries. Let’s just use our tried and true American formula. Congress passes legislation, the president signs or vetoes it, back to congress for eighteen months, then lobbyists bring suit and counter suit, big corporate money arrives like the Mongol Horde, as does Rudy Giuliani and his staff of Russian agents. and then it all goes to the Supreme Court, which will render a decision nobody likes. I certainly trust Amy Coney Barrett to determine our future in fair, objective decisions. After all, she’s had three full years on the bench.
Best wishes to all my fellow voters. I’m going back to my bomb shelter and wait for the first volley of Trump artillery to launch from the Rose Garden.
I'm Thinking...No! 