Her Ladyship is an inveterate watcher of “The Price Is Right”, and make no mistake, it’s a great and classic show. However, does it make great television to have the contestants jumping up and down and around the stage, screaming at the top of their lungs, flailing arms? Does this add to the excitement of the show? Is this why people watch? And if that’s why people watch, what does it say about a) the content of the game and b) the caliber of viewers they’re attracting?
Let’s talk a bit about the “excitement” factor. How much is necessary for a game show? It varies, of course. The mid-range excitement is typical of Family Feud. There is some jumping and clapping when they win the game, but it’s controlled from puzzle to puzzle. Of course, Steve Harvey provides lots and lots of comic entertainment, so the contestants don’t really need to go out of their way.
Wheel of Fortune, an icon of the game show genre is pretty tame and dignified. Can you imagine what it would be like if contestants carried on like they do on Price Is Right? What would that be like if they slammed down their little tubes when they got a bankrupt, or danced around the stage screaming when they won a trip to Barbados? The show would be shut down and Pat would call in security to escort them out of the studio. The most excited they ever get is the event when they win a car at the end, and go over and sit in it, waving out the window. They don’t even hug their families at the end if they win the bonus. Yes, I think that the participants on Price Is Right could learn to spin a gigantic wheel with some modicum of decorum from the contestants on Wheel of Fortune.
Jeopardy is another classic game show in which the contestants are poised and demure. In ages past, of course, they wouldn’t get past Alex Trebek’s icy stare if they carried on in some unseemly way. Even now, they just stand at their spots, waiting quietly for the host to say either “yes” or “no”. Just as Gene Wilder said famously in Young Frankenstein, “calm dignity”. Nobody hops up and down, nobody screams “hi” to everyone they know. Nobody wears embarrassing t-shirts telling us they came all the way from Flipandtickle, Michigan. Nobody waits for the audience to shout out answers or give them assistance. No, siree, it just dignified demonstration of knowledge and respect.
I have to say, Price Is Right has always had that “jump around and act obnoxious” factor, even when Bob Barker presided. Bob, of course, never moved a muscle as contestants danced around him. Each immaculately quaffed hair never deviated from its assigned place. He was rather like Lurch, the butler on “Addams Family”. The momentum for idiotic behavior began to build with shows like Bridezilla, where, let’s face it, people that really should have been locked up suddenly were free to let their emotions and bad behaviors run wild. It’s scary to think that most of these people are getting married and may reproduce, boding poorly for the future of America. Shoddy behavior has extended to adolescents planning the most outrageous and lavish birthday parties, with mom and dad along with mouths shut and checkbooks open. Reality show have, of course, been havens of raging emotions and limited thought or intellect. You know the ones, filmed at expensive resorts, or where they ship people with stunning good looks but limited control and will power to remote islands to “see what happens”. Couples screaming at each other at vocal levels we haven’t heard since Native warriors charged down the slopes and surrounded the wagons. These resort visitors are usually in a hot tub or a bedroom, where presumably their bodies show to far greater effect than their emotions and self-control, throwing things, breaking furniture. Yes, yes. That is such fun!
This got me thinking about the “excitement factor”, or EF as I’ll now call it of other shows. Let’s picture EF applied to HGTV. How to transformative would House Hunters, a frequent blog topic of mine, be if couples drove into a driveway, got out of the car and started jumping up and down? They could scream out deliriously about the price and the curb appeal, that it “WAS TOTALLY THEIR STYLE”. Or conversely, they could attack the real estate agent, slapping him or her across the face and yelling, “I told you what would happen if you brought us to one more split level.” Slamming a fist on the hood of the car, shrieking, “Didn’t I say NO STAIRS?” They could slam kitchen cabinet doors if the cabinets weren’t white, or pee all over a bathroom that is “outdated”. They could, in displays of anger, start pulling up carpets or punching holes in popcorn ceilings. Somehow just saying, “this house isn’t to our taste” , or those camera asides like, “George has his mind totally locked into a three car garage and won’t let it go.” is no longer enough to keep the magic in the show. Maybe a quick segment with their marriage counselor would perk it up a bit?
Then, of course, there are the sports talk shows. When the princess was home for the holidays, I’d have my radio on to a sedate, classical music station until Herself the Younger got up, at which time we’d dispense with the music and turn on MSNBC. There was a lively but mostly civil debate on the news of the day – of course, that was still the Trump era, with expert commentators sprinkled in the mix. Now, however, when Her Ladyship arises, she turns to ESPN, where a collection of former athletes talk over, above and around each other, volume rising to an almost painful crescendo. I asked Her Ladyship the other day if all that yelling was necessary. She responded that they were “enthusiastic” and passionate about sports. Ah, but did they realize that they weren’t actually in a game, they were just discussing a previous event or simply game strategy? Was it not possible to state calmly that kicking a field goal rather than “going for it on 4th and 1” was maybe not the best choice when down by 5 points with 20 seconds on the clock? Nay, nay, they pound fists on the desk and yell out at the audience as if they were standing on the sidelines.
I did think that America had cornered the market on loud disruption and unpleasant behavior, but other countries have stepped up too. Mass riots in Russia this week, and just because Mr. Putin poisoned his opponent with plutonium, and then, when he returned from medical exile, put him in jail. What’s that about? Even the Dutch are protesting COVID restrictions this week. Really? The Dutch? Home to some of the world’s greatest beers and works of art? They practically wrote the book on culture and taste. I didn’t even know they had pepper spray in the Netherlands.
So, America, let’s tone it down. You’re on Jeopardy and you’ve given a correct answer, but it’s only for $200. No reason to go nuts and cheer yourself. You’ve just spun a “bankrupt” on Wheel of Fortune, but you only had $450 anyway because you’d just bought a vowel. Don’t lose control. Don’t throw your little tube thing. Deep breaths and insincere smiles will do the trick. Let’s provide an example to our friends and neighbors. Let’s make a stab at being calm and rational – pretend if you have to. Let’s create the illusion that we’ve thought an issue through BEFORE we angrily take to the streets. Let’s make the yelling and chanting a distant memory soon to go away, like a Trump rally in the Deep South. Let’s pretend that we’re civilized, that we’ve moved beyond the Storming of the Bastille. Ok, given what’s happened earlier this month, that’s a stretch, but still, let’s take a deep, cleansing breath. Calm dignity. As I said at a meeting last week, “DON’T MAKE ME USE MY BAND DIRECTOR VOICE.” It’s not intended to generate the “excitement” factor.
I'm Thinking...No! 