A cartoon caught my eye this morning, and I printed it to send to the Princess. The comic strip is called “Zits”. It’s about Jeremy, a teenager dealing with his parents – particularly his mother, and them dealing with him. There was one last week in which Jeremy announced to his parents that he felt he was wasting the best years of his life. His solution was to live unencumbered, and that they should just give him his inheritance. In the last panel, he’s out talking to his girlfriend outside, and she comments that she can “still hear them laughing.” It’s a moment for all of us.
In today’s strip, Jeremy is grocery shopping with his mother. She mentions how nice it is for them to be spending time together. He responds that it’s important to him too. And in the last panel, he’s thinking that it’s to make sure she doesn’t buy anything but name brand snacks. The Princess and I are a lot like that in the store. She has high-end requirements and a low-end budget. My readers will know that she’s away from home and in graduate school. But on her trips home, she’s quite willing to critique my buying habits. Often, I’ll hear from the kitchen when she’s cooking or just looking, “Dad, I can’t believe you bought . . . . .” It’s true, I do, and I tend to favor store brand over name brand – to be honest, most of the time the savings are significant, and I, the primary consumer, really can’t tell the difference. One such product is peanut butter. I consume most of it on my English muffins for breakfast. Occasionally, it’s used for baking, or Her Ladyship will have a peanut butter and banana sandwich for her lunch. She doesn’t complain, although she did tell me it doesn’t have much flavor. The Princess, on the other hand, will deliver a diatribe on the subject, telling me why her name brand is so much better – it’s smoother, the flavor is so much more intense, etc., etc., etc. Is it worth the extra dollar or two in cost? I’m thinking . . . . . . .no.
I sent her the comic strip this morning, reminding her of the great PB debate. Her response was to remind me that the entire family sided with her on this. She reflected on how appalled her late grandfather would be – he too was a peanut butter connoisseur, as is her cousin. Even, she pointed out, her aunt and uncle agreed with her. I didn’t want to point out that her aunt, a former Family and Consumer Sciences teacher, wouldn’t dream of picking up a generic product from the grocery store shelf, lest her fingers turn to stone and drop off. And her cousin, my dear nephew, doesn’t buy anything without checking in with Consumer Reports at least twice. I pointed out that, when I’m shopping, mostly by myself, democracy and consensus seldom enter the equation. I buy whatever is cheapest or on sale, unless it’s well past the sell-by date, or there is a headline in the news that the product has been recalled and is reported to cause some horribly debilitating condition.
There’s a commercial on television for name brand eggs. According to the ad, this brand is “has more flavor and is more nutritious”. How, exactly does that work? Are these folks breeding “superchickens”? Are they giving them some kind of miracle feed? Are they injecting the eggs with nutrients, proteins, vitamins? From my inexpert perspective, they’re just about like any eggs. Some have white shells, some brown. I don’t see a difference. Her Ladyship tells me that I should be buying brown eggs, but the reasoning, other than some commercial jingle she remembers from her youth, is about it. I buy whatever is cheaper and hasn’t passed the freshness date.
Just yesterday, I was walking into the store, and there, right in front of me was a large display of mac and cheese dinner – their own, store brand. A great price – almost half of what the name brand costs. I bought two. Mind you, I’ll have to eat them myself, and well before the Princess’ next visit home or there will be no end of scorn and humiliation. But I’m happy with it. As I’ve written before, I tend to go during the week because there are fewer people to get in my way. Mind you, those that do move at a slower pace, and ponder the choices endlessly. Some shoppers prefer the “aimless wandering” approach. These folks are much like first timers at Disney World. Each aisle is a whole new world of wonder, to be taken in slowly from the exact center so that nobody can get by. They also like to circle back frequently, either because they forgot something, or they just want to extend the experience. Perhaps they just don’t want to go home.
During the depths of the pandemic, we had groceries delivered. Most of the time, it was fine, but periodically I’d get a “shopper” that shared my daughter’s view of more expensive products. They “couldn’t find” the store brands, so they’d ask if the name brand was ok. It was then that I figured out their fee and their gratuity were based on the total shopping bill. One shopper upgraded 18 of the 21 products I had on the list. I asked the shopping site not to give me her again. As we returned to normal, and grocery deliveries returned to normal, I went back to doing our own. With strict instructions to “prepare a list” and go once a week to cut down on the possibility of contracting something. To be honest, with a recent resurgence, I still wear a mask. I never got away from it in any public building. Even in the hardware store, I wear one, and the other shoppers look at like I’m crazy. But no matter. One lady behind me in line the other day thanked me for wearing a mask. She and I were the only two, but again, no matter. I feel better doing it.
When I know that the Princess is coming home for the weekend, I tend to go overboard and get what she likes. A name brand sliced turkey, because I know that the store brand just won’t cut it. Her Ladyship likes Miracle Whip, while I prefer mayonnaise, so I get both. Again, I can’t tell a lot of difference between store brand and name brand mayo, so I get what is cheaper. My late mother, bless her heart, would be deeply distressed, because one name brand – I won’t mention which one, but it begins with an H, was the only one she’d buy. And she was the Queen of deals and comparison shopping, driving among multiple destinations to get the best price. Since I’m retired and the pandemic has declined just a bit, I have taken the European view of shopping regularly – once or twice a day – rather than in huge weekly spurts. I’m able to pick up what will be required for dinner that night, along with anything else I think we might need, that I’ve just used the last of, or that looks quite interesting. And I’m getting better at cleaning out the freezer and cabinets so that, should I get hit by a tractor trailer on the way out of the parking lot, my heirs won’t think I was both a hoarder and advancing dementia. I defrosted a roast chicken yesterday and it’s cooking nicely in the slow-cooker. It was a name brand, but a manager’s special, so a partial win. If we have it for dinner and neither of us gets sick, it’s a total victory and I’ll run an Olympic torch through the kitchen. At the store this morning, the name brand peanut butter was on sale. I didn’t buy it yet, because I already have two jars of the store brand. Now what do I do? Life is all about choices.
I'm Thinking...No! 