I hope everyone had an enjoyable July 4th weekend. No shootings in your area. No stuck at an airport or in traffic somewhere. We stayed home and everyone came to us, so all good. Meanwhile, I have happened to remark to Her Ladyship on what we’re seeing on television. To that end, I’ve extensively covered some things popping up in commercials that we should never, ever, see on tv. Discussions of “gut” ailments. Things relating to sexual body parts. We don’t need to see that. And now, there is a whole slate of deodorants for every nook, cranny, and orifice. Once again, I don’t need to see, here, or know about it. Roll on to the pits and I’m good to go.
The new programming on a number of television stations truly indicates that we’ve hit rock bottom and are preparing to blast. In particular, I draw your attention to a tasty little morsel called “Life After Lockup.” Now, full disclosure, I haven’t actually watched it. I’ve just seen the ads, and there’s no real temptation to go beyond that point. Featured is a perky little creature named Gypsy Rose, who has just emerged from prison for killing her mother, and promptly got married. Yes, I know, right? Who in their right mind would marry a killer? According to the promos, the marriage has soured and she’s looking into divorce. Is it me, or should hubby not wait for the legal proceedings to play out, but rather should head for the hills? An undisclosed location deep in the mountains of either of the Dakotas or Montana. Someplace where there is no cellphone reception, no GPS tracking, and even police dogs would lose the scent, running in circles bewildered.
This channel, which seems to produce a smorgasbord of really lowbrow shows and movies. There is, for example, a rather bizarre looking lady named NeNe Leakes, who hosts a series called “Outrageous Love”. During the segments, according to the website information, couples experiment with topics like . . . . using home surveillance systems, and dabbling in pest control. Again, in full disclosure, I haven’t watched them. They seem more than I could possibly bear. They have also been promoting a made-for-tv movie, “Sister Wife Murder”. Based on shocking real-life stories. I’m not sure about that, but anything is possible. Particularly after we’ve been reading about and watching that South Carolina lawyer that embezzled piles of money and spent it all, and then shot up his family. Some things you just can’t make up. Fascinating in a way, like driving by a multicar pileup, but to me not necessarily an evening of television entertainment.
Reality shows set us on this journey. Just put a dysfunctional family on the air and people will watch. Producers put scripted television like “Married, With Children” on the air to find that viewers actually liked dysfunction. Why bother write it, then? Just collect a rather strange family, film them, and voila! You have Honey Booboo and Mama June, who should never have had exposure beyond their living room. Or collect a bunch of twenty-somethings with limited social skills and no inhibitions, and again, voila! Up pops “Real World” and “Jersey Shore”. When, in 1961, in a speech before a meeting of television executives, Federal Communications Commission Chairman Newton N. Minow described television programming as a “vast wasteland” of “senseless violence, mindless comedy and offensive advertising”, I’m not sure he could ever have imagined what some networks and network executives would ever dream up.
Then, of course, we have a whole gaggle of “reality/romance” shows. These are the shows with cast members who are either extremely well paid to subjugate all semblance of dignity and self-respect, or whose physical appearance far outdistance their intellectual / emotional capabilities. These shows formed the concept with “The Batchelor” and its counterpart, “The Batchelorette”. Dating with a twist – usually of a knife. Again, I don’t watch these shows, or anything much like them, as I have only seen the promos, which appear to tell me all I need to know. They follow a pattern: dewy-eyed anticipation turns to frustration, helped along by two cups of deceit and betrayal, which then morphs into anger and elements of revenge. Newer versions are set on tropical islands. Beautiful people on a beautiful island paradise would seem to be the working formula for a reality dating show, and “Love Island” is the perfect example of this. Described by Sarah Buddery for Looper as “offering pure escapism and heaps of drama, “Love Island” sees the so-called islanders living and coupling up in a beautiful resort or villa. With a prize of $100,000 at the finish line, they can play the game with their heads or their hearts as they pair up for love, friendship, or just to survive. This being a game show, the drama comes when the couples have the opportunity to “re-couple,” ditching their current partner and pursuing a relationship with someone else, and those not in a couple have to pack their bags and leave.” Ah. Now there is an enriching premise behind which we television viewers can place ourselves. And the romantic joy continues with a show called “90 Day Fiance”. This seems to be just a tad more desperate and fraught with danger than even eHarmony. But, then again, I suppose that some people will do almost anything for a few minutes of fame.
There is another show that I’ll never watch, and to which I respond, “Really? People actually watch this?” Presumably they do, because it’s back for another season. It’s called “Dance Moms”, and the gist of it seems to be episodes of a crazed director of a dance school in a perpetual state of out-of-control rage, and equally road-raged mothers reacting to her. The poor young dancers must in various stages of eating disorders, along with chronic fear and depression. Do we really see entertainment value is this type of programming? If I wanted to see anger on this level, I’d subscribe to Donald Trump’s social media platform. But then again, anger and confrontation seem to sell. Even the folks looking to buy property on “House Hunters” are often at odds and bickering about potential homes. Watching some of these self-centered couples, I’d like to advise them to rent rather than buy. Their potential for a long-term relationship doesn’t stand a chance, and the divorce lawyers will get any equity value.
And in closing, I’d like to point out another show that I have, with huge gobs of guilt, actually watched, is again on HGTV. It features comedian Rhetta touring the country in search for the “Ugliest House in America”. Yes, this goes way beyond merely the “taste-impaired”. These people actually wallow in garish colors, truly outlandish collections of the unspeakably ghastly, and home renovations that got completely out of hand. I’m told there is a sequel show, “Scariest House in America”, probably something along the lines of Extreme Addams Family, but I haven’t had the nerve to tune in.
I can’t even bring myself to discuss those that watch anything on Fox News. I do know, though, that whoever said that “nobody ever went broke underestimating the tastes (and in this case, the viewing preferences) of the American people” was sadly, spot on.
I'm Thinking...No! 