In the last few weeks, I’ve had to get up and out in the mornings quite a bit. My choices, of course, but reading my daily newspaper in the afternoon is a violation of, well, my routine. Definitely a violation of all things sacred. Mornings are all about starting the coffee pot, and gathering my newspaper from the front porch to be read promptly on the back porch. Along the way, I turn on the computer so that both it and the internet are nicely warmed up should I feel in the mood to write. This morning I am, inspired perhaps because a piece of mine on immigration was in the weekend edition of the local paper. And I’ve fallen behind on my blogs. (My apologies!)
Of late, I’ve been sidetracked from the norm. The last few weeks, including the last two days, I’ve been up and leaving the house early to judge some music festivals. Yes, I greatly enjoy them as they help me “keep my hand in”, as they say, to teaching and working with young musicians. I’ve been judging for this particular festival for going on forty years, and it gives me great pleasure. But there are sacrifices to be made. For example, I don’t drink coffee before I leave or on the way. “Aging infrastructure” and access to appropriate facilities – well, you get the picture. It’s hard to be in the middle of a clinic session with a band or chorus, and have to say to them, “I’ll be right back.” Particularly as we only have a ten-to-fifteen-minute blocks of time to work together. These festivals feature one group after another continuously. Yesterday, we started at 8 AM and didn’t stop until 1 PM. My alert and savvy readers will immediately spot the problem of liquid consumption.
As we get older, or perhaps it’s a function of personality, we develop routines and schedules that work for us. Deviation is unsettling. It’s emotionally and physically exhausting. When I was in school, my first order of business was to check emails and respond to them as needed. As an officer of the Massachusetts Music Educators Association and a department administrator, so many communications – inquiries and issues, were time-sensitive. From time to time, I got back the response, “Wow – you got back to me so quickly.” Yes, punctuality is virtue, and there’s nothing worse than sending out something that requires a response, and then not hearing back for days, weeks, or ever. Although, I will say that, when I use something that’s, well, routine, like online banking or Amazon asking about a delivery, and then I receive one of those, “how did we do?” surveys, I tend to ignore them unless they somehow screwed up. If it got here and was on the front porch when they said it would be, enough said. But they persist. “You haven’t responded to our response.” Usually by time they’ve sent me three or four of those, they may have twigged to the idea that they won’t be hearing back. No electronic “pat on the back” from me.
As I said, I have a routine. Coffee is ready, the newspaper awaits, and my day has officially begun, right on schedule. After that, I check emails for random advertising, spam, a few scammers at work, many of them to which I “unsubscribe”, and to which they pay as much attention as I do to surveys. I usually do some writing – this blog, for example, or something for the newspaper. The newest White House executive order that will cause rioting in the streets, destroy the environment, leave us open to a new infectious disease, or get us all killed.
When Her Ladyship has arisen for the day, we’re off and running. This is my period of “chores”. It could be a trip to the grocery store – I do that frequently. My daughter would say, too frequently. A cashier said to her a while back, “you must be Tom’s daughter.” So, it’s possible that I’m there quite a bit. I also know the lady in the garden section at Home Depot. I stop there a bit too, to the point where she’s asked me if I’d like to come to work for them. I could, I suppose, but then they’d put me on a schedule that would completely disrupt my morning routine. So that won’t work.
The rest of the day pretty much takes care of itself. An afternoon nap, and here I refer the reader to some previous blogs on “art of napping”. Some days are more conducive to napping. A bright, sunny day is not nearly as “nappable” as, say, a day with a gentle rain or slowly drifting snow. For some reason that I haven’t been able to fully identify, percipitation lends itself to successful napping. But I adapt and make do, whatever the conditions.
Evenings are set aside for serious television watching. That is the time where we typically follow series that we’re watching – sometimes British mysteries with a nice sprinkling of “law and order” type things. Anything with British accents will do. Sometimes, we’ll find some period pieces to stream. Wednesday nights are “reality” night. Herself is a big fan of “Survivor” and “Amazing Race”. On weekends, we’ll sometimes find a stand-up comic we like who has a new special. Some are really, really good. Others are merely crude. We find some that look promising only to find, when we click on them, “resume” pops up. That means we tried them and didn’t get beyond the first few minutes or the first few profanities. An episode or two of “House Hunters”, and by 10:30, we’re ready for bed. Pills taken and tucked in for the night. As I mentioned, I like to set the coffee pot for morning, so all I have to do is push the button. Ready to fulfill an important part of my morning routine. I know, I know. It sounds rather trite when I put it on paper, but there you have it.
Holidays tend to throw us all off kilter, and yes, they often send our preciously crafted routines into complete upset and chaos. Christmas in particular, because it has a lot of “build up”. Thanksgiving, Easter, July 4th – they just appear. We buy some food and figure out who is hosting. But Christmas, well – that’s a whole series of carefully choreographed preparation tasks leading up to the actual day. “Wrapping day” is an event that requires a different routine entirely. I’ve written about this before, but for those that haven’t read up on our holiday routines, the wrapping day is that in which all of the presents emerge from their hiding places, along with the paper/boxes/accessories (ribbon and tags). Her Ladyship is perched at the dining table, a flurry of wrapping paper and ribbons swirling around her like snowflakes in a storm. In similar fashion, the “cookie bake” day is a formal process of mixing, shaping, cookie sheets being whisked in and out of the kitchen. These are formal events, not unlike the day that the Christmas tree comes out of hibernation and set up. Our “Decoration Day”, or days, are in mid-December. They have to be carefully planned and executed. And they all represent departures from, and time taken away from, the daily routine.
The other important thing to remember about our adaptive lifestyles as we get older is that our days shift, or slide actually. I used to rail against getting up at 5:30 during the work week, looking forward to weekends when I could “sleep in”. Now, I’m up at the time every morning. Why? I have no idea – it just happens. We don’t go out, or even like to go out evenings. It’s a scary time when bad things happen. OK, perhaps we’ve watched too many murder mysteries. I try not to drive after dark, even though I had cataracts removed a few years ago, and, believe it or not, my eyesight is better now than it was. It’s just the thought of being out after dark that is unsettling. So, we do the occasional breakfast or lunch out. A restaurant dinner is take-out, and when I go to get it, I notice that most everyone actually sitting in the dining room is a young person. Don’t they know that evenings are for tv? Apparently not. They haven’t yet built up their routines. So chaotic. To the spontaneous, I say “I’m thinking, . . . . no.” I have a routine.
I'm Thinking...No! 