There is, in the weekend comics, an amusing commentary in the strip, “Zits”. It features the Duncan family – mother, father, and Jeremy, their teenage son. In this particular strip, Jeremy is walking through the house, seeing a pumpkin display on the dining room table, along with pumpkins on bookshelves, under lamps, everywhere. Going outside, the house is lined with pumpkins – the front steps, the walkways, even up on the roof and around the chimney. Jeremy tells his mother firmly that she has “pumpkin issues”. Yes, indeed. It’s that time of year, and judging by the displays some folks have, they too have pumpkin “issues”.
I can’t necessarily say I blame them. Every store – from the grocery stores to farm stands to even hardware stores seem to be receiving truckloads of pumpkins. Early “pumpkin gatherers” were paying a premium, but as Halloween and November approach, they’re practically giving them away. You can get them in all sizes from huge to dwarf varieties. One of the local fairs, which has a competition, featured the winner – a 2,500+ lb beauty. I doubt it would fit on anyone’s front steps. I have gone with one small one, your basic orange, with a smaller yellow with orange stripes. Tasteful and understated, as am I. I also broke down and got a couple of mums, which I’ve put in containers and look quite nice. Not too much, just a nod to the season. Up at our waste transfer station, people dispose of their pumpkins behind the dumpster in a wooded area. Sure enough, the following year, it will be a pumpkin patch. In the past, particularly when the Princess was little, we’d carve a pumpkin into a jack-o-lantern, but I haven’t bothered to do that in years. The sight of pumpkin guts all over the kitchen just doesn’t have the appeal it once did.
I was watching one of my favorite gardening shows last week, the British show, “Gardener’s World”, a fall episode from a few years back. Host Monty Don was demonstrating how to harvest pumpkins. I don’t personally grow them, but it was interesting. One year when I was growing up, we prevailed upon my father to plant a pumpkin patch near his squashes. My parents were devotees of butternut squash, so we had that a lot. I do like them. We did get a bumper crop of pumpkins too, with the dilemma of what to do with them. My parents did little to no outdoor decorations. Candles in the windows for Christmas, perhaps a wreath on the front door were about it. The other segments were “preparing your garden for winter”, “planting shrubs and dividing perennials”, and “what to move indoors”. I watched in agreement, nodding my head, knowing that I wouldn’t do any of it. In the spring, I’ll clean it up and see what’s survived and starting to grow again. But what to do with surplus pumpkins? They’ll pretty much end up food for the little beasties, either before or after they leave the front steps. For some reason, even outside, pumpkins have the shelf-life of bananas. They seem to start their process of deterioration even as one unloads them from the car. I’ve been led to believe, primarily from cooking shows, that pumpkins by themselves have little natural flavor. Much of what we attribute to them comes from the spices that are added. Hence, I guess, the phrase “pumpkin spice”.
From late September to early November, though, we seem to live in a “sea” of pumpkins. I had to return a couple of books to the library yesterday morning. On my way, I passed a large local farmstand, which has been in town for generations, perhaps centuries. It’s primarily apple orchards, but they seemed to get in large shipments of pumpkins too for the season. There pumpkins as far as the eye can see. The parking lot and adjacent yards were covered with them, as was a field across the street. As it was a Saturday morning, the place was packed with people getting their pumpkins. Even then, they didn’t seem to be making a dent in the supply. On my way home, I stopped at the grocery store to pick up a couple of things for dinner. Again, large boxes of pumpkins were available, prices marked down. My question is, what happens to all the leftover pumpkins? Do the folks at Libby’s and Dole buy them up and turn them into cans of pie filling? Even then, how many pumpkin pies can we bake and eat? We have one on Thanksgiving and the day after, but that’s about it.
Some people do decorate extensively, like Jeremy’s mother, with pumpkins. I see them on stone walls, lining steps and walkways, mixed in with truly disturbing Halloween decorations of two-story skeletons and monsters. Apparently, pumpkin products are big in the monster community, although I seldom see monsters ahead of me in line to order a pumpkin latte or a pumpkin muffin at my local coffee shop. And, as we all know, pumpkin spice’s time grows short, because peppermint is standing in the doorway even now.
I will admit, in full disclosure, that I have a small collection of glass pumpkins, which are inside decorations. This started a few years ago, when I saw some displayed at a Pier 1. I mentioned that they were quite pretty, and Her Ladyship, in a moment of perhaps lax concentration, agreed. So, I bought a couple – one large and a matching smaller version, and have added one each year. The bulk of the collection is arranged in a tasteful display on the mantle in the living room, with a couple of extras on the dining room table. Some different varieties, as Pier 1 went the way of Oldsmobile years ago, but I find them in a home furnishings chain that has carried on. They have a lavish display, but if I wait long enough, they’re on the sale table, going for pennies on the dollar. I bought a new one this year, but that may be the end, because, as we all know, there is a fine line with collections between “that’s pretty” and “oh, dear God.” (She tells me I say every year that I’ll stop – I have enough, which I do, but . . .)
Normally, Her Ladyship and I would take a foliage ride – over to the coast, up to the Lakes region, or west toward Vermont. We didn’t get to it this year. The foliage sneaked up on us because of the dry summer, and then a couple rain storms with driving wind finished off the best color. We might think about a “pumpkin tour”, though. Seeing who has the most extravagant, overdone to the point of reckless displays of pumpkins throughout their yards. Anyone with plastic or inflatable pumpkins – in fact, anything inflatable – will receive one of our cards indicating that they could be subject to fines and sanctions by the “taste police”. Like the people that still have their Christmas decorations up on Valentine’s Day. Yes, I think a Pumpkin Tour might be just the thing for an outing. Perhaps I’ll suggest the idea for a major marketing campaign to the NPA, the National Pumpkin Association.
I'm Thinking...No! 