Wouldn’t it be great if there were such a device? If we could somehow have some type of fine-mesh device installed somewhere between the brain and the mouth that stops something we’re about to say that, simply put, is going to offend others? You press a button to activate it, and your thoughts are blocked from reaching your mouth and floating like mist into the airspace.
Cartoonist Johnny Hart used the phrase, “nonexistent thought to mouth filter” in his cartoon strip, BC, this morning. I found it hilarious, as I often do. I’m a big fan of his work. But more than that, we’ve all known many people that are thoughtful, carefully weighing everything they say, choosing their words carefully. They speak or write carefully crafted sentences that skillfully articulate their thoughts. Then, sadly, there are many more that don’t. They blurt are whatever pops into their brains at the moment. Half-baked ideas and spur-of-the-moment comments that reflect blissful ignorance, and sometimes, words that are deeply hurtful and offensive.
There was an exercise that I used to do with my middle school students (and occasionally a high school group too), in which I’d give them a blank piece of paper and ask them to fold it in half and press on the crease. Then, I’d ask them to unfold the paper and make the crease go away. Which, of course, they couldn’t. Next, I’d ask them to pretend that the crease was something they’d said that hurt someone. The moral, of course, is that once something is said, it never goes away. You can’t erase it completely. It will always hang over you, and the hurt it has caused will never fully disappear. My mother, until the day she died, used to relate a couple of incidents from her childhood in, of all places, a parochial school. Comments that were tossed out carelessly by, of all people, nuns and priests.
Yes, we’ve all done it from time to time. We’ve said things that we wish we could retract immediately. That the “thought-to-mouth” filter had caught it before it burst forth from the tongue, teeth, and lips. Just as quickly, we think – “oh, did I say that out loud?” As a classroom teacher, I’d explain to students that, in many situations where I’d ask a question requiring thought, they need to count to ten before responding. Because, as any teacher knows, you have those that wouldn’t raise their hands if you threatened them with torture, and then those Hermione Graingers, whose hands are waving almost before the last word of the question is out of the teacher’s mouth. Some don’t even care if the answer is wrong, as long as they’re first to speak. Thoughtful restraint is a learned skill, and develops throughout life. We wonder sometimes why teenagers say some of the impulsive things they say, or act on some of their least wise impulsive notions. We know now that those portions of the brain governing restraint, inhibition, and mature judgement don’t develop fully until early to mid-twenties. Sadly, for some, they never develop fully. Equally sad, those seem to disappear as the brain advances into senior-hood and advanced age. Sometimes we attribute it to onset dementia, and it could well be, but often is just that, as we get older, we feel embolden to say what we think. You know, “damn the torpedoes, full speed ahead”.
We were used, of course, to Michael Scott saying wildly inappropriate things on “The Office”. Lacking any awareness, he’d offer what he thought was wisdom to the disbelieving looks of his staff. The “Diversity Day” episode, ordered by the corporate office in response to his behavior, is a study in stereotypical, cringe-worthy comments. Those that are old enough to remember Archie Bunker expressing his world view, too, recall his heated defense of bigotry, misogeny, and other assorted inappropriately expressed ideas, up to and including racial and ethnic slurs, counterbalanced by the more enlightened philosophies of his daughter and son-in-law. Of course, those are fictional characters, whose words were written specifically to shock and, dare I say, keep the viewers watching. They also were designed to bring about a gradual change, to show that society was becoming more and more sensitive to aforementioned social flaws. And, because of it, we entered the period of what we now call “political correctness”. We began to understand just how backward and offensive much of our speech was, and how hurtful. Just as “Will and Grace” moved “gay” into the mainstream and helped remove stigmas. Did these entertainment venues take away all of the prejudices? No, but it moved us forward a bit, and made us aware that many of our deeply held and expressed views needed to be changed, watched carefully, and yes, filtered.
Actor Timothee Chalamet’s poorly thought-out comment about ballet and opera, claiming that “no one cares”, created a fair bit of back-lash and negative publicity that he no doubt didn’t need running up to the Oscars. It even provoked a comment from the show’s host, Conan O’Brien, who remarked that “Security is extremely tight tonight,” O’Brien said at the start of the show. “Just got to mention that, yeah, I’m told there’s concerns about attacks from both the opera and ballet communities.” (People). The camera pivoted to Chalamet, who had the grace to laugh along with the rest of the audience. Unfortunately, that comment will follow him, probably, forever. In full disclosure, Timothee, many people, myself included, and possibly even you, feel the same way about professional boxing and wrestling, or some of those crazy reality shows which we see advertised regularly in television ads. In the privacy of our living rooms, we might wonder aloud, “who in their right mind would watch that?” Many viewers do follow them, though, so I’d certainly never say anything out loud, disclose it publicly, or even put it out online. Oh, wait . . . . .
We’ve had presidents and other political leaders that have, from time to time, spoken out and then been forced to backtrack. Issuing apologies or trying hard to clarify “what they really meant.” Former President Biden referred to himself as a “gaffe machine”. It usually was something that he could correct, and was seldom anything malicious. George W. Bush had a habit making up words (as when he said that people “misunderestimated” him) and mangling phrases, but it wasn’t insulting, and not, to my recollection, ever at someone’s expense. The current occupant of the White House, though, isn’t quite so refined. When he speaks, he thinks he’s constructing a “rich tapestry of ideas”, but the rest of us hear a generally perceived as rambling incoherence. And further, he is largely unrepentant when applying insults and disparaging labels. Often followed by a smirk, it would suggest that he thinks of himself as terribly clever. He also tends to compound the problems of his off-the-cuff comments with a complete inability to see the errors of his ways or to admit that what he’s said is wrong, hurtful and offensive. His late-night tweets are typically, in equal parts kneejerk impulsive, ill-thought-out, and insult-laden, much like his spoken words. For all of that, he remains unapologetic, a quality that he maintains along with an inability to admit that he was wrong. He truly needs much more than a filter. Something more along the lines of “Man in the Iron Mask”.
There is a quote ascribed either to Abraham Lincoln or Mark Twain, although quite possibly neither said it. “It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak up and remove all doubt.” Coupled with “discretion is the better part of valor”, they suggest that ill-chosen expressed thoughts don’t work to the speaker’s, or writer’s advantage. There are many such bits and pieces of sage advice, such as “keeping one’s counsel”. “Playing close to the vest.” “Maintaining a poker face.” All imply that one’s thoughts and feelings remain hidden, and thus, will not create some offense.
The researchers that can come up with some form of “thought blocker”, some sort of device similar to a signal blocker in electronics or radar blockers for speedy drivers, that stops our thoughts dead in their tracks before they reach the mouth, could potentially become some of the wealthiest individuals on the planet. A couple of years ago, scientists working in South Korea announced what they thought is a breakthrough in the control and manipulation of neurons in the brain through the use of magnetic shields. It’s not widespread, though, and as reported, somewhat invasive. But if a simple “pause” on the “thought-to-speak” channel could be developed, there is no doubt that the quest for world peace could be advanced, international conflicts might be resolved and personal relationships strengthened, speeches by award show recipients could be significantly reduced, and Donald Trump would get a mild electrical shock every time he made something up. Even better, Caroline Leavitt’s mouth would lock shut every time she stood behind a microphone. Yes, a “thought” blocker, a filter. A reality in the near future? I’m thinking . . . . . maybe not, but still . . . .
I'm Thinking...No! 