Author: Thomas Walters

The list of items that “do for themselves” continues to grow, and I fully support this movement. I was reading that one horse running in this year’s Kentucky Derby threw its rider just out of the gate, but that plucky steed kept right on running the course.  Sadly, it was disqualified because it seems that not having a human aboard is against the rules.  Surely that horse should get credit for initiative.  If we can have driverless cars and trucks, why not jockey-less horse racing?  Dogs did it for years.  In recent years, all manner of unpleasant chores have been reduced or removed by technology, and that has made life easier through the generations.  I know I enjoy the benefits. Continue reading “DIFM (Do It For Me)”

“You have the right to remain silent.” This phrase is usually accompanied by handcuffs and an arrest warrant.  It is, however, something that is underused in today’s world.  I’m convinced that the Founding Fathers would never, ever, have included freedom of speech in the Bill of Rights had they been able to envision Twitter and Facebook. It was supposed to be confined to King George III and the Redcoats. They also never dreamed of air travel.  Said a passenger on a recent flight, whose neighbor was removed from the plane for setting off the flight attendant, “Flying is almost scary because you don’t know who you’re going to anger,” he says. “You can’t say anything to anyone.”  He meant it as a complaint and an assault on basic freedoms.  However, it’s actually wise counsel.  You should indeed exercise restraint in what you say, particularly on a packed airplane where humor is not always appreciated and mostly undervalued. The wise philosopher Anonymous once said, “It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak up and remove all doubt.”  Good one, Anon. Continue reading “The Right to Remain Silent”

He or she who controls the television remote controls the kingdom. In our house, my wife is master of the television remote.  She rules over it like Queen Victoria at Buckingham Palace.  Oh, Prince Albert may have thought he had a certain degree of mastery, but no.  It resides squarely in the hand of, well, the hand.  Control is seldom relinquished – most usually if she’s still in bed or has gone to use the computer in another room.  In those cases, I wait a discreet amount of time, then cautiously approach the remote, fingers trembling. Continue reading “Riding Remote Shotgun”

This isn’t really about having a new car – it’s more about buying one, and the ways people approach it. We (my wife and I) tend to be spontaneous buyers.  You’ve seen them in car commercials. We walk into the dealership thinking solidly in our minds that “we’re just starting to look”.  It ends up with a hurried cleaning out of the glovebox and the trunk, checking under the seats for anything there because the new car will be ready in an hour.  On two occasions we’ve picked up our daughter someplace in a new car she didn’t recognize. The last incident happened at our niece’s wedding in Pennsylvania.  And here’s how it happened. Continue reading “That “New Car” Smell”

There are a number of things in life that straight – out confuse me.  Their purpose, function, and intent confound my intellectual capacities. For example, adding salt to chocolate. What are we doing here?  Can’t chocolate stand fully and completely on its own?  In a rare few instances, other flavors can be added because they’re sweet or compliment – like mint, caramel, even peanut butter or coffee.  But that’s about it.  Salt is clearly a seasoning for meats, in particular burgers, a bit with pepper in mashed potatoes.  Some may wish to add it to the boiling water for pasta, but after that, we’re done here. A while ago, a friend gave us some specialty chocolate candies with sea salt.  There were great boulders of salt perched atop the chocolate.  All I could taste was the salt.  What were the masters of chocolate-making thinking? Continue reading “I Don’t Understand . . . . .”

My faithful readers will recall a blog a few weeks back in which I outlined things that make me smile. Those are the slices of life that give us pleasure and satisfaction.  Well, on the flip side are those instances that do the opposite – the bits and pieces that lead us to “what were they thinking?”  Here are some items and situations that either provoke eye-rolling or cause is to recoil in disgust.  If I’m being overly sensitive, you’re probably right so don’t bother pointing it out. Continue reading “That’s Disgusting!”

On a recent morning, I went into a variety store to purchase some lottery tickets.  Next to the counter was a rack of red “Make America Great Again” caps.  I walked out of the store, not really because the sentiment was offensive, but more because of who and what it represents.  For some, it’s a line in the sand, but for others, it represents unbridled fear and divisive rhetoric that’s driving decisions that aren’t in America’s collective best interests.  Those decisions and policies are neither reflective nor thoughtful – they’re knee-jerk reactions to perceived injustices. That got me to thinking about where we’ve come and where we’re going. Continue reading “How to Make America Truly Great”

I’m in.  Not really sure how to get started here, but I fully embrace the concept that I would somehow be able to influence the thoughts, habits, and branding of millions of people and get paid truck-loads of cash in the process.  This came to my attention as I saw that one celebrity’s daughter is an “Instagram Influencer”.   I hadn’t really understood how that works, and full disclosure, I still don’t.  People actually pay to hear what she has to say? Is that like the Kardashians, who don’t have any appreciably marketable skills yet still end up on television and in magazines all the time?  And the famous daughter is like, what, 19?  And she got a crew scholarship to USC, despite not having ever been on anything less than a forty-foot sailboat.  How cool is that?  I can just see her asking “What do these big paddles do?” at the first practice, or informing the coach that “Riding backwards makes me nauseous”. Continue reading “Becoming An “Influencer””

Was it not Benjamin Franklin who wrote about the inevitability of death and taxes?  I think so, but what he neglected to mention was that taxes are the usually the more painful of the two. This year was more exciting, because in addition to our own revised taxes, our daughter moved, changed jobs, and has gone back to school.  Federal taxes along with a nice assortment of taxes in two locales. That’s the trifecta of joy and anxiety. Continue reading “Death and Taxes”

On a typical morning, my legions of faithful readers will open this blog and expect to read all about the foibles of the people and the world in general around me – things that have happened on the national stage, things that are on television, or inanimate objects that have set out to thwart my best efforts.  Not today, my friends, not today.  Today we set our sights on the simple bits of life that give me pleasure and inspire joy. Continue reading “Things That Make Me Smile.”