I'm Thinking…No!

We were having guests over yesterday for dinner.  Great people, and we haven’t seen them in some time.  So, in the morning, the hot water heater decided to crap out.  It’s Sunday.  The day that plumbers raise their hourly fee from a thousand dollars an hour to a million. This isn’t really an “emergency” as such, more an inconvenience until Monday.  But we’re washing all those wonderful decorative, hand-painted serving pieces by hand in cold water. Until the repair person comes, we’ll suspend a few high-level bodily hygiene functions. Continue reading “Appliances – do they know something we don’t?”

Ok, I had my coffee routine. Every morning, I’d stop for coffee on my way to school.  Regular, brown coffee with a bit of cream.  Don’t get me started on milk.  Real cream.  OK, real fat-free half and half.  Must come from a Holstein / Guernsey mix, right?  But milk? That doesn’t even count as a “healthy alternative”.  Some people like it sweet – add a little sugar and off you go, a morning drink to start the day.  We couldn’t just leave it at that. Continue reading “Coffee – what the heck happened?”

There comes a time, or an age, when gravity simply put, is not our friend.  The fingers, the arms, and legs don’t really work in harmony the way they did a few decades back.  I know what the scientists will say – that we need gravity so that things don’t just drift about like they do in a space capsule.  Ok, understood.  However, if you ladies and gentlemen in research could turn your attention and considerable talents to a couple of my ideas, it would be much appreciated. Continue reading “Fighting Gravity”

The customer(s) appearing on home sales or renovation shows has been a favorite target topic of mine since I began. Having written extensively, well, twice actually, about some of the folks “Hunters” television manages to scrape up, I’m branching out. Let me say at the outset that I’m a huge fan of the work that Drew and Jonathan do.  They’re brilliant, inspired, remarkably friendly and eternally patient.  The homes they create are stunning.  I’m not convinced some of their clients are worthy of them. Continue reading “Property Brothers, or Where do two nice guys get these folks?”

My daughter just texted from the beach, where she’d gone with a friend for a quick get-away. She’d forgotten to take a cap, and hence was a bit crispy around the edges.  The gist of the text, “another cap for Dad’s collection.”  It will go well with the one she bought in New Jersey while visiting friends a few weeks back.  Great.  Just what we need. Continue reading “Baseball Caps – They’re like Rabbits”

Some while ago, I introduced to my myriad readers Lady Peacock, a friend who’s “interesting”, one might say quirky life views make for fascinating storytelling.  In this recent installment, I present to you, my faithful, the Lady Peacock diet.  By way of backstory, she is constantly dieting to reach her ideal goal weight, typically reinforced by a new garment purchase that is hopelessly snug.  Her “target weight” looms on the distant horizon, well out of reach much like an oasis to a desperate traveler crawling in the desert.  She mentioned casually the other day, and with a straight face no less, that she was planning to have her usual yogurt for her lunch, but she decided on an alternative – an ice cream cone!  Thus sums up her nutritional vision, one not likely to be embraced by dietary programs or experts any time soon. Continue reading “Snacks Without Borders”

Remember the time that a car would drive up next to us at a stop light, and the music was so loud our hubcaps would drop off?  There was a definite sense that “ bass was better”.  The volume increased to teeth chattering levels somehow created a higher quality of life.  The car’s occupant was blissfully unaware that he or she was off-putting to all of those around them, and most likely didn’t care.  It’s that sense of “I’ll do what I want.  You other people deal with it” that is now firmly embedded in our culture.   So much for “it takes a village”.  Continue reading “Am I disturbing you?”

As anyone who has worked with me professionally or personally, or in fact anyone that I’ve ever met casually in a coffee shop, knows I’m not really a “tech” person. Truth be told, the first time I sent a text on my new smart phone, it sent shock waves through my professional network.  My daughter lectured me when she was home last Christmas about the importance of ALWAYS having my phone with me when I went out.  I did the next time I left the house and she proceeded to text me to pick up her Starbucks order on my way home.  Continue reading “My Personal GPS”

Some of my more faithful readers may have read my first episode of “adventures at the dentist’s office”.  This is a regular, recurring experience for many of us, with the possible exception of a person I knew back in my working life who was missing most of his front teeth and spoke mostly in whistling sounds and punctuating snorts.  Continue reading “Back to the Dentist”

I was innocently making a trip to the nursery the other day – an emergency plant run – when passing a local supermarket, this older (but not elderly) couple pulled right out in front of me.  The driver had apparently checked his side and seeing nothing, decided “gang way” without looking to starboard.  I jammed on the brakes, and with squealing tires and some just a bit of indignant horn-blowing, managed to elicit what I could only discern as a “stop” hand sign from the passenger side.  Really? I, driving down the street, had an obligation to stop so they could pull out at their leisure?  Fortunately, we came together at the next red light.  I gave them my very best stern stare, something that I’ve appropriated from Ellen Degeneres and usually works well in these situations, but they didn’t make eye contact, so I’m not totally sure my point was made. Continue reading “Driving Offensively”