I'm Thinking…No!

Do you know what really chomps my asters?  Bunnies. OK, a growing family of rabbits that live behind the house in the woods.  It started with one, last summer, that was seen eating clover in the yard but left the flowers undisturbed.  Now, though, they’re attacking my flowerbeds with happy abandon.  I’ve tried sprinkling and spraying animal deterrents around the area with only partial success.  Now I’m bringing in the nuclear weapons.  Continue reading “Adventures in Gardening”

The summer months tend to bring the ritual of the family reunion.  Images of Norman Rockwell-esque gatherings on the porch of a cottage somewhere, hamburgers, hot dogs, and potato salads as far as the eye can see, smiling faces and casual chitchat everywhere.  So, let’s not kid ourselves – we want to see how the other branches of the family are doing, and feel so much better about ourselves in comparison.  Continue reading “The (Dreaded) Family Reunion”

Some while ago, I introduced my readers to Lady Peacock, a friend who’s “interesting”, one might say quirky life views make for fascinating storytelling.  In this recent installment, I present to you, my faithful, the Lady Peacock diet.  By way of backstory, she is constantly dieting to reach her ideal goal weight, typically reinforced by a new garment purchase that is hopelessly snug.  Her “target weight” looms on the distant horizon, well out of reach much like an oasis to a desperate traveler crawling in the desert.  She mentioned casually, the other day, and with a straight face no less, that she was planning to have her usual yogurt for her lunch, but she decided on an alternative – an ice cream cone!  Thus sums up her nutritional vision, one not likely to be embraced by dietary programs or experts in the near future. Continue reading “Snacks Without Borders”

Many years ago now, our daughter was in her dance phase.  We encouraged it, as one would any activity that gets them out of the house and away from the tv.  Dancing will ignite that spark of imagination, grace and agility, and we want our children to grow up having diverse and stimulating interests.  At times it works out, other times not so much. Continue reading “Shall We Dance?”

My wife and I were watching one of our favorite tv shows last night, and I was closely watching the opening credits. That in itself tells you that I’m becoming increasingly attention deficit.  Anyway, I noticed something curious.  Under the title, “Executive Producer”, there were three names.  Then the title popped up again with two more names.  Next, a name pops up of someone that’s actually on the show listed by himself, again as “Executive Producer”.   That led me to wonder – what exactly do all these people do? Are there rankings of EP’s,  job descriptions or specific functions?  Is it possible for an EP to do virtually nothing and get paid?  That could be an ideal new career path for me.  All this fruitful speculation leads me to providing my readers with valuable information, much of which is totally made up by me, to assist you in understanding the complex and nuanced nature of media production. Continue reading “Roll the Credits”

This past few months, my wife and I have been working our way around the house cleaning out closets and reorganizing the vast amounts of “stuff’ that we’ve accumulated over the past forty plus years.  To be honest, I’ve been tackling the smaller spaces first because, well, the basement was daunting.  It’s looked something like Extreme Storage Wars since we moved here seventeen years ago, and only been getting progressively worse as we add “essential” bits of nothing. Stuff that you know you’ll never see again, don’t have room to display, but is just too great to give or throw away. (Our niece commented years ago that our house looked like “a Hallmark store”, so that gives you an idea.) Continue reading “Collecting “Stuff””

Just heard someone on television, a young lady who had to complete a task with which she was unfamiliar, state that she was “freaking out.”  Is that really the case?  We hear this phrase often, particularly from teenagers and young people when their anxiety levels are slightly elevated.  So, as a public service, something for which this blog is renowned, I’m laying out guidelines here for when and when not to “freak out.” Continue reading “On “Freaking Out””

So what’s with all these updates?  Didn’t the techies get it right the first time?  My phone bleeps at me to update my apps.  This computer, at which I currently sit writing brilliant and insightful bits of inspiration has about four red lights telling me I have updates to something waiting for me to “install” or “download”.  Raise your hand if you remember when download wasn’t even a word.  Continue reading “Your Updates Are Ready”

It’s coming – I can just feel it.  A two-dollar win on today’s lottery ticket.  OK, not the huge windfall that would sweep us into a plush, luxury lifestyle. I’m a faithful buyer of lottery tickets because I’m sure that the big jackpot is just around the corner.  The fact that the power number was 5, while I had 3, 4, and 6 doesn’t deter me in the least. I go to sleep nights planning the ski lodge in the Alps (neither of us ski, but that’s beside the point) or the ocean cottage  (the view is really all we’re after).  A manor house in Shropshire (because I love that name) or a warm retreat in a sunny location for the winter months. Perhaps a villa on the Mediterranean – I hear Monte Carlo is quite nice.  Someday, I’d like to walk into a Bentley dealership and say, “I’ll take that one – the burgundy one with the brandy-colored interior. Write it up and I’ll give you a cheque.”  Continue reading “The Big Win”

It started out innocently enough.  A suggestion that, having had lunch out, rather than doing take-out, we’d just have a light snack.  “How about tuna sandwiches?  Fine, we have tuna. Open-faced patty melt?  No, I prefer grilled.  OK, then.” And thus it began – our “evening of discontent.” Continue reading “The Sandwich Diaries”