(Part of the continuing series: The Lady Peacock Chronicles – the Life, Times, and Challenges of Being Lady Peacock)
Our dear friend Lady Peacock had an unfortunate, serious accident recently. She was taking her granddaughter to a play and fell on a brick walkway. We’ve all done that, and it’s painful and traumatic. Lady P. did sustain some significant injuries, and I don’t mean to make light of them because I genuinely feel sorry for her, particularly at the holidays. She broke a bone in her thumb and has a brace to immobilize that hand, which of course is awkward for any number of tasks. This follows on the heels of a car accident in which her significant other was involved, so he too is in a period of recuperation. So, life continues to be difficult for pool Lady P.
It is not entirely clear if her extensive medical team has an actual “thumb specialist”, someone whose medical training and expertise are directed to treatment and therapy strategies for the thumb in particular. A national alert has been sent to major medical and research centers for just such an expert, and no doubt, by the time you read this, matters will be well in hand – pardon the pun. So now, in what can only be described as another installment of “Profiles in Courage”, Lady P has been placed on Injured Reserve for the foreseeable future, and has been putting together a Crisis Management Team to get her through the holidays. The accident happened after much of the Christmas decorating at Teale Cottage, her official residence here in the Colonies, had been done. Her son put up her tree, and presumably others had been assembled to handle the ornaments and other decorative touches for which Teale Cottage during the season is quite renowned. We are her primary supplier of fresh holly, and our receptionist has been awaiting the call to ship. These are used to adorn not only the Cottage, but also as tasteful accents around the various grave sites of her family. In a normal year, she’d place these strategically herself, but we may be called upon for delivery and placement during the period of her convalescence. OK – sad update. Lady Peacock has called to cancel her standing holly order. She’s not up to tying the ribbons around the holly sprigs this year.
Another friend, a key member of her “volunteer” team has been called into service. This friend normally helps Lady P in sorting and filing her papers in preparation for placement in what will someday be her official library. While the final site of the Lady Peacock Library or the Lady P Library Wing, has not been chosen as yet, these historical documents are being collected even as I write this, and at some point, a team of archivists will be transforming her credit card bills and other significant records of her purchases to microfiche or microfilm, or simply scanned into computer files for preservation. To quote Abraham Lincoln out of context, “the world will long remember . . . .”, although quite surprisingly, there has been rather limited interest among the major libraries. That will no doubt change as word gets out about her connections to the British Royal family – she’s well connected to the House of York, descended from the White Queen through a complex series of ancestral doglegs. There’s a marked family resemblance, though, and has Queen Victoria’s commanding stature, but I’ve digressed. The aforementioned friend rushed to Lady P’s aid and handled her wrapping of Christmas presents, crisis averted. That was impossible for Lady P of course because her arm is in a brace – did I mention that?
Lady Peacock is still managing to drive, and hopefully is able to continue her trips to Starbucks, an important component of her daily dietary routine. She came to visit some time back, before the dreadful incident, and was sampling something new that didn’t quite suit. It was a something “gingerbready”, but lacked a bouquet of flavors she was expecting. No doubt, Starbucks will be putting together some type of compensation package as a peace offering. You may well have read about Lady Peacock’s adventures at Starbucks – it’s all in a chapter from her upcoming biography, titled “Skim Milk, Extra Whipped Cream”, which comes from an overheard order placed at the drive-up window. Fortunately, she informed us that the unsuccessful gingerbread offering was somewhat rescued by a generous dollop of whipped cream. That may save the coffee purveyor in possible litigation as well as several barista jobs. Once again, I’ve digressed. Lady P was able to drive her carrots to the neighboring community so that her son’s family could peel them for her. Peeling vegetables is, or course, absolutely out of the question with one’s arm in a brace – did I inform my readers that hers is? Perhaps I overlooked it. Much of Lady Peacock’s Christmas cooking will be, shall we say, “off the table”, so she’ll be relying on friends, family, and any number of eateries to provide for her sustenance. We ourselves are storing a large wedge of pecan pie for her in our freezer. The pie was left over from Thanksgiving, but we’re holding it out of the range of temptation while she diets herself back into a new dress she’s wearing to a formal wedding on New Year’s Eve. The outfitting, the accessorizing, and fashion consultations as preamble to that event are subjects for another day – too many layers of complexity for a simple mention here.
In another modification to a handicapped status, Lady Peacock was able to find, at one of her high-end clothiers, a cape that will do during the time of her recovery. Putting an arm through a sleeve has been quite problematic, so the cape will work. Should she be appointed Professor of Potions at Hogwarts, the cape will allow her to blend seamlessly into the faculty at the Head Table. Of course, she’ll need to accessorize for that position with designer hat and broom.
While there is no telling how long the recuperation period will be, many of Lady P’s friends and family are in the process of organizing a non-profit assistance foundation – tentatively labelled, “Volunteers In Service to Lady Peacock”. VISLP will make application for non-profit status, which will then allow the organization to accept donations and dispense a variety of services once VISLP is fully established. Several key roles will be designated for assignment until Lady P is able to resume full management of the estates at Teale Cottage. These would include: Lady or Ladies of the Bedchamber, with responsibility for Lady Peacock’s dressing and grooming; Keepers of the Kitchen Supplies, to handle all of her routine shopping needs and meal preparation; perhaps a Groom of the Stool, which is historical but we don’t care to speculate on responsibilities; Her Ladyship’s Keeper of the Jewels; Mistress of the Wardrobe; Surveyors of the Starbucks Runs – one or two capable footmen could handle that; Master of the Buckhounds (should she acquire some) and Gamekeepers to Teale Cottage, to name just a few. This should keep the critical functions at Teale Cottage, well, functioning, albeit on an interim basis, until Lady P. can resume her full supervision.
All that know and appreciate Lady Peacock understand that this is an extremely difficult period, and we also know the frustration that accompanies an injury that limits sometimes even the most basic of tasks. We wish Lady Peacock, in all sincerity, a speedy return to health and a painless period of recovery. Only then will life return to normal and peace descend on the Duchy.
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