I'm Thinking…No!

I’d like to thank the wonderful folks in marketing for throwing my internal seasonal calendar all out of kilter.  Remember when we didn’t hear Christmas music until, well, Christmas?  Now it’s playing in Home Depot right after Columbus Day.  By Veterans Day, we’re ready to take bows and arrows to reindeer and toss the venison in the freezer for Thanksgiving.   Continue reading “Regards of the Season – Whatever Season”

We Americans always seem to be in a hurry.  It’s on the highways with someone who thinks they’re a lower level James Bond coming flying by me, weaving from lane to lane.   Looking for divine retribution, I hope to see them in a ditch, unhurt but ego bruised a few miles down the road.  I even saw this unwelcome impatience in a department store in Florida among older people as they went up and down the aisles like snow-plows, looks of grim annoyance on their faces that said clearly, “I earned this. In thirty years, you can push people out of the way too.”   Continue reading “USA – Get Out of Our Way”

Every so often, a term comes up that I can fully embrace.  “Retro” is one of them.  In fact, I like my retro life.  I like my eleven-year-old car, with the dashboard clock that comes on and goes off with sporadic whimsy and the rear lift-gate that needs to be gently assisted as do I most of the time.  Oh, I know I should have traded it for something more fuel efficient and eco-friendly.  To me, it’s eco-friendly to replace the floor mats every eight to ten years and the registration fees are down to where I can almost pay them with pocket cash. Continue reading “The Best Parts of Life are usually Retro”

Naming people has always been a sacred tradition, meant to define them and particularly with small children to distinguish one from another.  We name our pets so we can call them at night to the delight of our neighbors.  Particularly with dogs, the longer the pedigree, the longer the name.  This year’s winner of the Westminster show is “Vermilion’s Sea Breeze”.   Let’s hope that old Sea Breeze was followed by a scooper or nobody’s going near that beach.  Continue reading “What’s In a Name?”

Have some buzzwords that cause you to roll your eyes when somebody says them?  I’m sure that everyone has words and phrases that they find running the gamut from mildly amusing to the wildly preposterous.  Often it’s just the overuse of some words and phrases that cause our blood pressure to spike. Here are some that have embedded themselves in the verbal culture, and it’s going to take some time and effort to snuff them out going forward.   Continue reading “Buzzwords that raise my hackles”

Some have said that nappers are born, not made.  I don’t know exactly who said it, but it bears saying again loudly.  And while I’m at it, I’ll say that there are associations and societies for almost everything, so now is the time for nappers worldwide to unite.  I propose the formation of the Universal Society By and For Nappers.  Our banner will include a background of “z’s” and twinkling stars with the legend, “Call me in an hour.” Continue reading “Napping – Art form or a Skill?”

As I drove home the other day from the grocery store, having picked up a few items – notably three or four bottles of carbonated beverages that were running laps around the back of the car, I began to imagine the type of person or persons that would design those containers.  Continue reading “Plastics are out to get me!”

The most direct route by car from central New England to DC invariably take us through Connecticut.  A picturesque, upscale, well-manicured state rich in history and culture.  We can travel through New York, New Jersey, Maryland, and Pennsylvania without incident, but the traffic always seems to stall in Connecticut.  In fact, on one fairly recent trip, clear sailing up along the coast until . . . yep, crossing the border into Danbury.  Night paving in Waterbury, somebody clipping hedges in Willimantic, whatever the reason, it always takes longer to get through Connecticut.    Continue reading “Just Passing Through”

No doubt about it – the topic is morbidly fascinating.  As I get older, I find myself checking out the obituary pages more and more.  They’ve evolved over the years for simple, skeletal outlines of a person’s life – place of birth, parents, spouse and family, military service, jobs and hobbies.   Slowly, whoever is writing these is attempting poetic flights of fancy with phrases like  –  “passed into the hands of God” or “stepped off the Heavenly cliff”.  As we don’t know exactly where the dearly departed ended up, this could be misleading.  “Dropped in the fiery abyss” may well be more accurate, or to some survivors, a more fitting end.  Continue reading “‘Til Death Do Us Write (Thoughts on Obituaries)”

OK, I’ll admit that I don’t go quite as often as I should.  Some people (typically those that read directions before doing anything) go every few months.  I go every few years or until something in that region hurts, whichever comes last.  My guiding health care philosophy is, “if it’s not causing pain, it must be fine.”  That could be risky, the professionals tell me.  Continue reading “The Dentist’s Office”