I drove my daughter to the bus station this morning. She’s heading into Boston for several professional meetings and to attend a seminar. She is in the final year of completing her doctoral dissertation, and honestly, my heart was bursting with pride as I saw her go. There was a lively conversation on the way up about the progress – the final chapter is going to her advisor next month. Yes, indeed. Her mother and I could not be prouder of her. What a wonderful feeling as parents.
Did I mention that she’s an adult, our only child, and unmarried? No, we won’t have grandchildren, and that doesn’t matter. It was never her job nor her life’s work to provide them. It was her job, and her life’s work, to feel fulfilled and create a life and a career that make her happy. Happy with her choices, and if I’m completely honest, I don’t think she’s ever been happier. Doing what she was meant to do. Becoming a teacher, an academic, after being out in the world and running a non-profit film competition. That provided her with many, many very satisfying experiences. But now, she has refined her choices and is focused on doing what she loves and what she will do next.
That is why, for us at least, Vice Presidential candidate J. D. Vance’s remark about “childless cat ladies”, reawakened from a 2021 interview, was both disturbingly ignorant and strikingly insensitive. Rather than apologizing to adults that have elected not to have children, he “clarified” his comment that the Democratic Party was becoming “anti-family.” For the record, we’re not cat people – allergies and no particularly fondness. So the party that gave us child-care credits, extended comprehensive health care to millions of American families, and is currently pushing for expanded day care options, first-time home buyer grants and student loan forgiveness, is “anti-family?” Let’s take a moment to compare that with the “pro-life” party. We’ve all seen the pictures of parents holding young children above their heads as they wade or swim across the Rio Grande in desperate hope of a better life, only to be confronted by deadly floating obstacles with razor edges, or a massive wall. Before they even get here, they’re labelled and stigmatized by the “pro-family” party as criminals and pet eaters. Supporters of these candidates are whipped into a frenzy by talk of immigrants coming here to binge on government benefits, to suck the American taxpayers dry. Their plan in its infancy, again this is the “pro-family” party, was to split up families, separating parents from children, because we saw those children locked in cages. Their new plan, according to their intrepid leader, is to deport them all to, well, presumably that from which they came. This is also the party that has tried repeatedly, in their leader’s words, to repeal the Affordable Care Act in favor of something “much better.” That “much better”, after more than a decade, is still in the formative stages, what he might call, like economics, a “concept of a plan”. This is, once again, the party whose signature tax reform, in 2017, was of great benefit to the “families” of corporations and the very wealthy. Marginally so for middle, and lower, income Americans. And as a parting shot as this party and its leader exited the White House in 2021, the FDA’s governing policies were changed. “[President Donald Trump’s] HHS Secretary Alex Azar said that “finalizing our SUNSET rule will deliver for the American people better, smarter, less burdensome regulations in the years to come.” Just what they said about the Affordable Care Act. Not only did HHS remove “burdensome” regulations, it also reduced funding and food safety inspections. There were less than half of the food and cosmetic plant inspections in 2021, compared with a decade earlier. In case you happened to notice the recent listeria outbreak at a Boar’s Head processing plant in Virginia, killing nine and hospitalizing over 50 in eighteen states, well . . . . So much for “burdensome regulations” and protecting life.
There was a time when having children was almost a necessity. It was about creating a workforce for the farm or family business, or even producing heirs to the throne or the family estate. Yes, we all saw what happened to Henry VIII. We watched Downton Abbey. Now, however, having children is a choice, not an economic need or a societal expectation. When I see pictures of the Prince and Princess of Wales and their children, I don’t focus on Prince George and think, “Thank God the monarchy will go on.” Rather, I see a wonderful, loving family.
Mr. Vance cited Vice President Kamala Harris and Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg as examples of “childless” Democrats. It’s worth noting that both are parents. Whether through blended families or adoption, parents are just as much parents as those giving birth. In fact, I’ve known a few individuals that were nothing more than sperm-donors or incubators, and I’d hardly call them our future. So, Mr. Vance, before you cast yourself as the “pro-family” party, you need to take a deep dive into your party’s history and stances in a number of areas. You may think that it has protected life before birth, but it’s left many families to sink or swim after. You haven’t done much to advance policies that provide equity to and acceptance of all families. You haven’t done much to advance policies that provide access to educational opportunities, or housing, or careers. Your leader’s appointments to the Supreme Court have struck down hope of relief from crushing student debt. And recently, you and your party’s figurehead have done precious little to build respect for human dignity. My daughter may not have given birth, but she’s truly a significant adult in many children’s lives, be they nieces and nephews or the children of close friends. “Aunt Betsy”, as she’s known to countless children, has and will continue to shape and influence the future. As a teacher, there will be much more positive influence to come. And I, for one, am extremely proud of the person she is – kind, thoughtful, and generous, and proud of the life choices she’s made.
I'm Thinking...No! 