Wait – they do what now? Enhanced Job Titles

I’m always curious about the way professions and job titles evolve.  People making short video clips, for example, are now “content creators”.   Because, it seems, anything can become “content”, even what I’m writing here for you to read.  I could actually put this on film, or record it, in which case I’d no longer a blogger.  I’ve become a podcaster, a vlogger, or even better, an influencer.  

Meanwhile, I watch (and if I am honest, mostly enjoy) those Dr. Rick commercials.  You know the ones, of “young homeowners becoming their parents”.  I, of course, am long since into the parent category.  I talk to people in the grocery store, I’ve even been known to correct a bagger when they’re putting eggs or chips in the bottom.   One of the most recent ones, though, is an introduction to internet communication.  It features a young man who is a “reaction influencer”, and you may have seen it.  At one point, he’s putting on hats in the video, if video is even still the right term.  One of the observers asks, “So you sell hats?”  No, the influencer explains.  He’s just putting them on to judge a reaction.  Apparently, it’s a thing.  I googled it, and here’s what I found.  

Influencer reaction videos, a mainstay of platforms like YouTube and TikTok, feature creators watching and responding to viral clips, music, news, or pop culture moments. In 2025, this content has evolved beyond mere facial expressions; influencers now weave in expertise, personal anecdotes, and humor. Audiences seek not just the original clip, but a trusted voice interpreting and contextualizing it for them.”  This comes from writer Eli Turner, from a website called #Influencers Time.  Wow.  Apparently, as the author of this column indicates, being a “reaction influencer” is a big money-maker.  Or, as we now say, is a “monetizer”, the $$$ equivalent of “content”.  That money flows in from subscriptions and advertising.  Who knew?  And more importantly, what am I doing wrong, sitting at my computer writing this?  I see people doing stupid stuff every day.  I could be filming it, commenting on it, and posting it to millions of devoted followers for beaucoup cash.  Not that I don’t appreciate all of my faithful readers – I do, indeed.  But if I’m honest, you’re not contributing much to my retirement account.

I was in a furniture store a few years back to buy a new recliner for Her Ladyship.  A fine young man assisted in the process, and after the purchase was complete, he handed me his card.  On it, I was informed that he isn’t a “salesperson”.  He is a “customer satisfaction representative”.  Ah.  Sales is no longer what happens when we enter a store, purchase something, and walk out.  I’d guess that if we’re unhappy with our purchase down the road and need to take it back, the person at the euphemistically called “customer service” desk, who explains the store policies and why return isn’t an option, is a “customer non-satisfaction representative.”  Quite like the person in “tech support” that tells us he or she has no idea why our technology is not performing as it should.  

As a fan of the show, “Jeopardy”, the opening announces the contestants, what they do, and where they’re from.  So, we get a name, followed by “an innovation communicator from Des Moines, Iowa.”  Later in the show, Ken is getting to know them, but rather than asking “what the heck is an ‘innovation communicator’?”, he instead turns to something like, “You had a funny experience with your cat recently.  Tell us about it.”  No, no, Ken.  We don’t care about the cat. Go back to the job.  

There was a time when jobs were, well, self-explanatory.  A “butler” buttled.  A “carter” was a prehistoric trucker.  They transported goods by cart, usually horse-drawn.  Surnames, like Baker, were often taken from the family profession. If you’ve ever wondered about the name “Fletcher”, it derived from “fletching”, the feathers attached to the end of an arrow to ensure an accurate flight path.  The fletcher was the person that made and calibrated it.  Very useful in the Middle Ages, before firearms. Now, of course, in today’s world of archery, they would be called Projectile Stabilization Technologists.  

When a football team hires an “offensive coordinator”, we pretty much know what they do, and it has nothing to do with being brash and annoying.  In broadcasting, the “color commentator” is the person that provides bits and pieces of insight so we don’t get tired of hearing the main commentator babble on and on, particularly when not much is happening on the field.

My final position before I retired was as a school district “Fine Arts Director.”  What is that, you may well ask, and further, is it all that important?  Yes, it’s vital.  I oversaw programs in the arts – visual art, music, theatre, and media.  I oversaw the curricula in each, the course offerings. I supervised and evaluated teachers, developed budgets, and so on.  And yes, I was also a music teacher.  There are, as in any school district, educational layers of instruction, and titles that describe them.  Titles evolved over the years, often to make them more appealing.  Janitors became “custodians”.  Teacher aides became “program assistants” or “para-professionals”.   Business administrators, often at the level of assistant superintendent, oversaw all of the district’s finances, which can be very complicated, and entails holding certifications and licensures. All of those titles were fine, because we all knew what they did.  We didn’t have to wonder.  

We used to have “activists”.  Ok, those are people working for a specific cause.  But, were they paying jobs and careers?  Could you live on that?  In the 19th century, we had “anarchists”, people seeking to overthrow governments.  Archduke Franz Ferdinand and President William McKinley were assassinated by two of them.  But were those professions?  Was that something you put on your resume?  Did a Human Resources director, on reviewing your application, ask, “I see you’re an anarchist. What have you done lately to shake things up?”  No, I guess it’s just a political philosophy that has, or will pass into the dark corners of history, like moderate Republicans. 

At some period in the recent past, the term “life coach” appeared.  There was probably a need. I never had one, so I’m speculating here that it was a service provided for a person that needed a little back-up or lacked direction in life, as opposed to the person requiring a whole psychological SWAT team. Someone whose peace of mind has a few bumps and potholes, or who is going through a difficult transition phase.  A career change, or perhaps inheriting some caregiving situation.  I’m not exactly sure what experiences or professional training one need to be a life coach, although I do know that a friend’s mother was considering it fairly late in her life.  Her life was, shall we say, a bit dependent and chaotic, and empathy wasn’t really her strong suit. My first thought when she announced that she was pursuing that career was, “oh, dear God.”  

In the current job market, new title buzz words are running rampant.  They include “strategist”, “optimizer”, “facilitator”, and “coordinator”.  My wife and daughter are ardent followers of the television show, “Project Runway”.  They’ve been watching since the dawn of time, or when Tim Gunn mentored the designers.  One of the current judges bills themselves as an “image architect”.  First, my sincerest apologies to Frank Lloyd Wright, Christopher Wren, Frank Gehry, Frederick Law Olmsted, and so many other famous designers of buildings, parks, gardens, and other notable design achievements of actual things. They must be swirling overhead at the new use of “architect”.  Anyway, this person apparently develops “images” for people.  Kind of like a publicist on steroids.  It’s described as ‘way more than fashion and make-up”.   It’s a total look, and if his own image is anything to go by, it goes well beyond the visually superficial to personality as well.  Particularly to the condescending and confrontational.  If it’s a “look” and an attitude that some find appealing, they should perhaps “look” again.  

As social media and the internet transform the job landscape, it’s inevitable that job titles and descriptions will continue to expand into the realm of intensely perplexing and bewildering.  And if you could see my face right now, it’s a mixture of frowny face and “deer in the headlights”.  I may not yet be an influencer, but I have the “reaction” part down.

No, I’m Not Running

My faithful readers will know by now that I have decided not to throw my hat in the ring for any state or national elective office.   It’s not that I’m not quite as sharp as I used to be, truth be told, my memory and recall are slowing down a bit.  I know this because we watch “Jeopardy” every night, and often, I’ll think to myself, “I knew that.”  But I wouldn’t be able to buzz in fast enough.  And, once again in full disclosure, I’m lacking the stamina of Mitch McConnell or Chuck Grassley.  So, this year, I’m passing.  If some untoward write-in campaign forces me to emerge from retirement, well then, perhaps I’ll bow to the people.  

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It’s the Little Things, not the Big Ones . . . that drive us nuts!

So true. I’ve never really been a “get mad at people” person. My family can attest, though, that I tend to lose my temper at inanimate objects. One might say it’s not completely their fault, but for some reason, they like to thwart me. For example, as I was getting dressed this morning, my underwear didn’t want to go through the leg holes as they should. I nearly fell over, my balance of late not being what it used to be, or in full disclosure, never was.

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A Fork in the Road

I was reminded recently, in a graduation speech, of Yogi Berra’s famous advice.  “When you come to a fork in the road, take it.”   It’s one of those, “oh, wait” pronouncements.  You stop to think about it, and the funnier it gets.  But yes, life is all about forks in the road, about making decisions, and about making significant choices.  

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Mother’s Day – Honoring, Loss, and Memories

This is a holiday for honoring mothers around the world.  It will be a day of celebration, a day filled with happy memories for those of us whose mothers have passed on but filled, for some, a day with just a hint of loneliness.  Our daughter is in Atlanta, and as she’s coming home in couple of weeks for her godson’s graduation from high school, so making the trip now didn’t make sense.  But we’ll be communicating by phone throughout the day.  Some families aren’t quite that lucky.  It is also a painful one in our family.  My wife’s sister passed in January, so this is our nephew’s first without . . . .  It will be a day of coping.  Celebrating with his wife and children but also a feeling a mix of emotions. 

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“How to Dispose of a Dead Body”

And other questions not to ask Alexa, if you don’t want your life story to end up on the True Crime Network. As writer Dave Barry would say, “I swear I’m not making this up.”  Full disclosure, I’m not.  These were pulled from actual news stories. 

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Writing a “Tell-All”

There it is again – a cover on a popular magazine proclaiming, that yet another celebrity is “finally free to reveal” her life story.  Her struggles, setbacks, inabilities to cope with fame and wealth.  And my guess is that lots and lots of people like to read about those adversities.  Those same people watch reality television shows too, the really, really trashy ones that, for example highlight brains only working on a couple of cylinders paired with anger issues.  The ones where people’s homes are so full of crap they can’t move.  Or the best, where people fall in love with ax murderers and get married in the chapel of a maximum-security prison.  The ones that, when you see the cast in a preview, you tell yourself they really should be titled, “Dear God, Please Don’t Reproduce” or “Too Stupid to Live”.   But again, I’ve digressed.

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The Afterglow of the Holidays

Now that we’re well into the new year, having celebrated Christmas and New Year’s, watching “Muppet Christmas Carol”, “Holiday Inn”, and the Tournament of Roses Parade (which was a bit soggy this year – marching bands in rain slickers just isn’t the same), it’s time to regroup, take a deep breath, and return to our normal living patterns.

Yes, we all know the holidays are stressful.  For those of us that are, shall we say, a bit older and therefore may not be as severely caught up in the anxiety, or so we tell ourselves, there is still just a bit.  Where did we put all the sales slips in case something needs to be returned?  They were right in the drawer over . . . . . . I know I saved them. How much wrapping paper is left?  Should we restock, or wait until next year?  What color bows should I buy – I don’t know what colors will be stylish in 2026.  Oh, God. Did we get everything put back in the right place?  Should we get rid of some of the decorations that now fill closets and most of the basement?  No, because they’re all treasures. Inherited, or someone special gave them to us.  Made in Kindergarten by someone now in their forties. All those car commercials – should I replace ours?

As a child, I can remember the tremendous letdown the day after Christmas.  I know, we had all that new stuff to play with or wear.  That was exciting, but opening all the presents was spectacular, and now it’s over until next year.  Can we wait that long without our heads exploding?  There would be a birthday in there somewhere, but that wasn’t quite the same.  My birthday is in early December, and while it was never overlooked – my parents were good about that, it did get lost a little in the energetic runup “whoosh” to Christmas.  Nobody ever went caroling with “It’s Beginning to Look A Lot Like Tom’s Birthday”.  Let’s face it – for kids, there’s a definite letdown after Christmas. Memories of that feeling on Christmas night lurk in my brain. The presents are opened and used, the surprises are gone, and an emptiness exists that New Year’s Eve can’t hope to fill.  (Plus, we were going back to school the day after, so New Year’s Day is a lot like the last Sunday night of summer.)

As adults and young parents, that letdown is mixed with a certain sense that life can return to some form of normal when the Christmas tree goes to the curb and the decorations back into boxes.  A brief, modest sense of relief.  Whew, we made it again this year. It’s mixed with some anxiety.  Did I get enough stuff for everyone?  Did I spend enough, even though the credit cards won’t be back to zero until June. Some of the “Did I do enough?” recedes into darker regions of our consciousness.  It’s too late, so we have to try to let it go.  Parents too have anxiety about balancing the numbers of presents for each child.  Were they equal, or did we show favoritism?  My parents agonized about it every year – particularly my father, who didn’t do any shopping except for my mother.  My secretary, one hilarious year, had bought one daughter a set of tires for her car.  Did that count as one gift or four?  We have an only child, so balancing wasn’t an issue so much as a deficiency issue as it was (and still is) “holy crap – look at all the stuff she’s getting.”  The Head Shopper does it all online now, so we don’t see the piles collectively until the wrapping starts.  At that point, it’s hard to pull out packages because we’ve gone overboard.  It’s difficult giving as a reason to retailers for returning items, “We’re so sorry – we just had too much this year.  Do you mind taking these things back?”  That and the fact that many of Herself’s purchases end up coming from obscure Asian countries, which seldom have friendly return policies. Children usually focus single-mindedly on the holidays themselves, not understanding that adults have holiday preparation on top of everyday living.  Like meals, jobs, and laundry.

We’re now into the retirement phase of life, when Christmas becomes a pleasant diversion.  We can go to the stores during the day or shop online at reasonable times.  No shopping at 10 PM, when the kids are asleep. Prime shopping for Her Ladyship is just before lunch, unless she’s into “Price Is Right”.  Then, it can be moved up.  We decorate at our leisure.  In fact, each year we tend to scale back the house decorations to special items, special gifts,   It’s all about choices and living in the moment. There are boxes of tree ornaments in the basement that we haven’t used in years because, well, honestly, we have enough to decorate the woods behind the house. I didn’t put up the outside lights either because we had major snow that came early in December and caught me by surprise.  (Secretly, I thank the Weather Gods.) There’s a small window of opportunity for setting up outside lights – too early and they step on Thanksgiving’s toes – too late and the heck with it. Also, I don’t like running electrical cables across piles of snow.  In truth, I don’t fully trust outside electricity.   Another disappointment for the Princess, who, even in her forties, asks if I’m going to put up lights outside.  

The house now returns to its fairly peaceful self.  I get my couch back, for example.  We return, as the broadcast networks say, to our “normal programming”.  We tend to watch our television shows on their duly appointed nights.  The occasional DVR, but mostly what’s on at that moment.  The Daughter watches virtually nothing in real time except for award shows.  The Emmys, the Oscars, the Golden Globes, and the Patriots – that’s pretty much it for her, and everything else is in electronic storage.

Last week, we took down the tree and packed up the decorations. Most fit in the containers from whence they came.  Some didn’t.  Did they reproduce while exposed to air and sunlight? Some folks like to keep their things up well into the new year, the more persistent ones until Valentine’s Day. I still see some lights in the neighborhood and we’re almost halfway through January.  For us, the sooner they’re safely away, the sooner the transition to normality is complete.  Here again, is New Year’s Day too soon, and is the following weekend too late?  Then, if New Year’s Day is on a weekend, we’re totally flummoxed.  What happens to uneaten Christmas cookies?  (Yes, you’re right – that never happens.).  Oh, God.  I ate all the Christmas cookies, and the fruitcake, and the plum pudding. Just kidding – I hate fruitcake, and Her Ladyship isn’t a fan of plum pudding. Is the eggnog past its expiration date?  (Throw a little alcohol into it and that will kill the germs.)  The Princess flew back to Atlanta yesterday, but I had to ship two boxes of stuff that wouldn’t fit in her suitcase and backpack.

As we ride off into a new page of the calendar, actually a whole new calendar, making resolutions we probably won’t keep, let’s all remember to “make the New Year bright” and put the anxiety of Christmas behind us.  God rest us, merry Gentle People.  I think I’ll take a nap.

Miscommunications

Most of us have received that phone call from a number we don’t recognize.  My wife and I look at it, asking each other if it’s a name we recognize.  We answer, and a voice says, “Dave?”  No, there’s no Dave here, so I inform the caller.  If he, she, or they happen to have been brought up with some sense of telephone etiquette, they’d apologize that they had the wrong number.  If not, they’d simply disconnect.  

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