The “Hit-Or-Miss” Garden

It’s that time again when compulsive gardeners begin to think of spring, the approaching warm weather and the growing seasons.  “No, it’s not too soon” I snap at those, particularly the Princess, our daughter, whose enthusiasm for plants ranks just below her interest in auto mechanics.  I’ve taken my houseplants about as far as I can, moving them about and rearranging until, well, there’s only so much space. So, I’ve begun again to research various plantings, what should go where, what will get enough light, what does best in certain soils, that sort of thing that gardeners do.  And so much is based on old-fashioned dumb luck.

I may have mentioned before that I’m a great fan and follower of the English broadcast, “Gardener’s World.”  Host Monty Don is truly an expert, and it’s fascinating to see what he does each year, and how he does it.  Of course, the show features many other features too – visits to outstanding estate gardens, the major British garden shows, interviews with nurseries and large-scale growers.  It also features individuals that have created wonderful “plots”, community gardens with assigned spots, along with truly magnificent gardens that some inventive gardeners have built on patches the size of a bathroom.  They’re always inspirational, but often, I share their inspiration but lack their energy.  So, I tinker with what I have.  A few bulbs here, a container there until something satisfying emerges. Each year, a new adventure.

There is a trend on Monty’s acreage to give names to gardens.  There’s a lot of that in Britain.  A significant number of homes have names – “Honeysuckle Cottage”, for example.  On continental Europe, only the large estates have names, but not in England.  Our dear friend, Lady Peacock, resides at Teale Cottage.  In fairness, I gave it that name, because her decorative accents favor teals and blues, but still, it fits.  Monty, though, has names for his gardens, which I rather like.  It makes it simpler for him on broadcasts to refer to the “jewel” garden, the “writing” garden, and the “cottage” garden.  We, his followers, will know exactly to which area he’s referring. My gardens, much more limited because, well, we’re in a condominium, will of course be much less regal, deriving their names from the location, shape, and what survives. Here are a few thoughts I have on naming mine, should I ever have a tv show.

The ”Bunny Feed” garden.  This area, containing varieties of plants that the wild bunnies, and there seem to be dozens of them, like to eat. This is a constantly evolving garden, because what’s here today will be gone tomorrow, chewed down to the ground.  I’ve even been at the kitchen window watching a bunny or two unselfconsciously munching away on asters, ground phlox, and corn flowers.  My readers, I know, will respond with helpful suggestions – spray them with animal deterrents, or plant something with a scent to drive them away.  Been there, done that. I remember one year I bought some “coyote urine” to spread.  The Princess was thoroughly appalled at just the thought, telling me it better not be her inheritance paying for it.  Anyway, it worked for a while until a family of woodchucks (that’s groundhogs to non-New Englanders) weren’t fooled, realizing there were no coyotes for miles.  My trips to the local nurseries, where I ask for anything the bunnies won’t like, are met with shaking heads and fateful smiles. 

The ”Transition” garden.  This is out front, and runs along the walkway to our neighbors.  A large privacy fence was removed last fall, so it now gets a fair bit more sunlight.  Great, an opportunity!  This was originally going to be the “Spring” garden, with azaleas and peonies, but I started putting in daylilies, and they’ve done pretty well, along with assorted hostas and lavender as filler.  Don’t know what the hostas will make of the increased sunlight.  I’ll have to get them little hats and sunglasses.  There is one peach tree that I bought at the grocery store a few years ago.  This was going to be the “Peach Orchard”, but I still have just the one.  It started as a sapling, but now it’s shot up to, oh, gosh, four or five feet. It blossoms whimsically, which doesn’t bode well for a fruit stand or peach cobbler.

Out front at the start of the walkway, I’ve found that coreopsis has been working well.  I’ll call that the “Welcome” garden, because it’s the first thing you see when you pull up outside.  The coreopsis is colorful, and it doesn’t seem to get eaten, so, along with a few scattered sedums, I’ll leave it alone to sink or swim on nature’s whim.  Next to that is the “Container Terrace”, a brick terrace installed by our predecessor.  I envisioned this as a mini version of Hotel Portofino, one of those beautiful, European showplaces of color and joy.  I was going to put a bistro set of table and chairs there, where I’d enjoy my morning coffee and newspaper in the dappled sunlight, but Her Ladyship shut down that dream.  So, it’s a concrete bench and multiple containers.  It is attractive, though.  I got wonderful feedback from a gentleman delivering Chinese food one night, so it’s not without powerful impact.  

Out back is what was supposed to be my “Rose” garden.  A mixture of tea and sweetheart roses.  But with an eye toward diversity, I put in a beach rose, which has totally taken over, overwhelming everything else.  This spring, I’ll have to cut it down and dig it out, starting again.  Another investment from the Princess’s inheritance.  That back area has become “invasive” central.  I’m happy to report that the bittersweet, the wild grapes, and the poison ivy are all thriving.  In fact, they’re all conspiring to kill a lilac bush that’s been there for years, along with many of the trees.  Even the huge pines have bittersweet hanging from them.  I’ve cut it down numerous times, but it’s a survivor.  Maybe I’ll call this area my “invasive species” garden. Behind the garage is a small patch where goldenrod is doing remarkably well.  I know that many gardeners consider this a viable and valuable contributor to meadow gardens.  As I’m allergic to it when it comes into full flower in August, I call this the “Tissue Box” garden. Or maybe the “Sneezing” garden.

Scattered around the back deck are “Hidden” gardens – little pockets of things I’ve put in with the hope they’ll survive.  Many have.  One holly bush has become several.  The closest thing I have to a cottage garden features a backdrop of more holly, along with some beebalm and daisies.  My predecessor put in pachysandra, which as we all know, now, looks lovely but takes over everything in an impenetrable groundcover.  The beebalm and daisies have managed, year after year, to poke their heads through and blossom.  This is my “Persistence” garden.  Yes, I’ve put in other things, but none survive.  Some year, if I’m really ambitious, I’ll dig out the groundcover and try again with something more.  

So, here is my philosophy of gardening, and I’m pleased to note that Monty is sometimes in the same boat. We try what works, and when it doesn’t, or it’s rather disappointing, we move it or toss it.  I’m truly not terribly heartbroken if something in the garden doesn’t survive.  A gardener must be willing to try and try again.  It’s an ever-changing vista anyway, even with something that’s fairly reliable.  Perhaps that’s why I enjoy it. There’s always something to do, something new to try.  Hit-or-miss.  That’s me.

Shopping Philosophy, or Peanut Butter Wars

A cartoon caught my eye this morning, and I printed it to send to the Princess.  The comic strip is called “Zits”.  It’s about Jeremy, a teenager dealing with his parents – particularly his mother, and them dealing with him.  There was one last week in which Jeremy announced to his parents that he felt he was wasting the best years of his life.  His solution was to live unencumbered, and that they should just give him his inheritance.  In the last panel, he’s out talking to his girlfriend outside, and she comments that she can “still hear them laughing.”  It’s a moment for all of us.

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After-Holiday Anxiety – A Belated Update

I wrote much of this over a couple of years, and I’m late posting it this year.  Typically, it would go up on New Year’s Day, although it does take time for many of these conditions to settle in. We’re looking at the holidays in the rear-view mirror, as the cold, snowy “bleak mid-winter” has really set in.  It started snowing yesterday, continued all night, and is still going today.  They – the folks paid to do this – haven’t come to shovel out yet, but that’s ok. I don’t really have anywhere to go. The giddy joy of New Year’s Resolutions has dropped off because, well, it’s the end of January and it’s not that I have tapered off.  The truth is, I never started.  Added to the winter doldrums, there may be a number of “flying-under-the-radar” psychological issues that have gone undetected, as we hope they’ll go away too, like the resolutions and grand intentions.  Primary among these psychological disorders is what I call After-Holiday Anxiety, or AHA.  Advice columnists will advise seeking therapeutical assistance as, to my knowledge, the pharmaceutical people are still a few years away from a medical cure – tablets, a vaccine, scented candles, a special lightbulb perhaps.  If something were available, I’d surely have seen it advertised by someone turned annoyingly perky on the nightly news.

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Heading Into the Primaries, Again

Once again, the election process kicks in.  This is not an endorsement for any candidate, as I feel that would seriously jeopardize my credentials as an impartial, independent blogger / influencer.  For those of you that don’t understand the primary system, it’s a convoluted, messy, scrappy way that we pick delegates, and sometimes really good delegates – they’re called superdelegates, state-by-state that will eventually elect the party’s nominees. We have dozens of candidates blowing through gazillions of gallons of jet fuel crisscrossing the country in attractive geometric patterns, and its ultimate purpose is to take all of the mystery and surprise out of the conventions. That’s it in a nutshell. Right now, there’s a lot of fun going on here in New Hampshire surrounding our primary because it’s the first officially scheduled one, except for Iowa, which is a caucus and not really a primary.  The difference is that, people go to polling stations and, well, I’m not really sure what, but somehow, they indicate their preferences.  We use a paper ballot, which is much better.  Then we have foreign nationals to count the ballots and tell us who won.  

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Keeping a Sunny Outlook

Yes, I know.  We’re into the “bleak mid-winter”.  I step out the door, and my nose and hands immediately yell at me, “Quick – get back inside”.  The weather is alternating a few hours of sun, followed by clouds, then periods of snow or freezing rain.  The wind comes up and rattles the windows. The Super Bowl is coming up, and our beloved Patriots didn’t even make the playoffs.  Nothing new really in Red Sox nation either, although it will pick up and we just know that they’ll be a contender next year.  My gardens are covered in snow, but I know that underneath all that dormancy, there is beauty just waiting patiently for the warm weather to come back.  The election cycle and the primaries are heating up, but I just know that the country will come to its senses and elect someone I like.  Or at least one that I don’t think will be in jail by November. 

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The Day the World Stood Still

That long-dreaded day has come at last.  It has sent shockwaves around New England, across the nation, and around the world.  No, not another war some part of the world.  Not the death of a beloved world leader.  Not an earthquake somewhere in the Pacific. Not a medical breakthrough that will change the course of history.  Much more important than any of those.  Bill Belichick, coach of the New England Patriots, has stepped down.  What we had hoped wouldn’t come to pass in our lifetime has arrived.  “(Insert name here) has been named the new Head Coach of the Patriots.”  Oh, wait . . . this from Gillette Stadium – Jerod Mayo has been named the new coach. Gone, but never forgotten will be the much-loved hoodie with chopped off sleeves, the clipped and terse statements at press conferences, and the squinting look of disapproval even as the football passes between the uprights by a Patriot kicker.  And in a very important cultural change for New Englanders here and away, we’ll have to get used to saying, “In Jerod We Trust”.  Perhaps the National Mint could slip that on the dollar bill to reinforce the message.

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Lottery Objectives At Odds . . . . . .

As I have written several times in the past, I’m a faithful and regular customer of the lottery.  With every ticket purchased, I’m poised on the balcony of wealth.  Sometimes it’s unimaginable wealth, sometimes just a few million. It’s always with a degree of torment to hear about someone in Ohio or Wisconsin, or most recently in Michigan, that bought the winning ticket, be it a ticket for Powerball or Mega-Millions, or just a scratch ticket.  They’re quoted on the news, saying “I don’t usually buy tickets.  I was just walking by the 7Eleven, and it was a spontaneous thing.”   Are you kidding me? They shouldn’t tell me that, at least out loud.  There was the story in the news years back of the lady that bought a lottery ticket – yes, a single ticket, mind you, in Florida while on vacation.  It won, of course, and the reporter mentioned the irony of – get this – her driving her Rolls Royce back to Florida to collect her winnings. Did she need that?  I’m thinking . . . . Then there are the repeat winners.  The people that had a million-dollar scratch ticket two years ago and, how delightful, just got another one.  Bought at the same store somewhere out in rural Oklahoma or Arkansas, although now they live in Palm Springs.  Now that’s just God laughing at me.

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Lady Peacock on the Disabled List

(Part of the continuing series: The Lady Peacock Chronicles – the Life, Times, and Challenges of Being Lady Peacock)

Our dear friend Lady Peacock had an unfortunate, serious accident recently.  She was taking her granddaughter to a play and fell on a brick walkway.  We’ve all done that, and it’s painful and traumatic. Lady P. did sustain some significant injuries, and I don’t mean to make light of them because I genuinely feel sorry for her, particularly at the holidays.  She broke a bone in her thumb and has a brace to immobilize that hand, which of course is awkward for any number of tasks.  This follows on the heels of a car accident in which her significant other was involved, so he too is in a period of recuperation. So, life continues to be difficult for pool Lady P.

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The Great Christmas Tree Dilemma

Once again, Americans are divided.  Other than politics, looming on the immediate horizon is a truly divisive issue – live versus artificial Christmas trees.  What’s best?  What makes the most economic sense?  What’s best for the environment?  We’ve all seen the truck loads of trees cut some time ago rolling into parking lots everywhere for sale.  Hardware and department stores have had displays of artificial ones since just after Indigenous People’s (Columbus) Day. So, how to decide. . . .

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Thankful Memories, Once Again

That time of year is upon us once again.  Thanksgiving brings families together, and it’s a time to reminisce about those we have had, those that are the future, and the people that have gone before us. This year, we’re gathering at our house – Susan’s sister and husband, our nephew and his family, and of course, Betsy. The last time we hosted, I suggested as something interesting a “game bird medley” – the supermarkets now sell duck and goose.  I thought it would be a change, but Herself and my sister-in-law shot that down faster than a Chinese spy balloon. I had a long conversation with my sister the other night, and we talked about family remembrances and happy times. All of us have tales of Thanksgivings past that solicit smiles and warm memories. Some I’ve included in previous posts, but I think they bear repeating now. These are some of mine.  Whether you’ve seen them before or they’re new, enjoy!

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