Foods are again at the center of our health concerns. Sometimes, it’s airborne microbes, then something passes into the water systems. In case you haven’t been following it, now lettuce is the culprit. I know, right? Lettuce is the universal symbol of flavor nothingness. Just below celery on the taste tables. Apparently, the toxic lettuce is coming in from Mexico, where it was irrigated by, well, I don’t want to think about it. The virus spreading across the country faster than wildfires is called “Cyclospora”, causing . . . . well, I won’t go into that either. But any condition that uses the term, “explosive”, with our declining mobility, doesn’t bode well. So, just as we’d settled into a bright and healthy summer routine of salads, they’re gone. Back to fresh vegetables bought locally. Yes, it’s safer. Several restaurant chains are experiencing difficulties with Jalapeno peppers too, but, as we seldom eat those, avoidance isn’t a problem.
Our daughter issued another of her regular health alerts about a local grocery store where I shop. Something in deli meats, which I’d just bought the day before. Turns out, though, it had to do with burritos and salsa, so, again, we’re safe. I have what she calls a “white man palate”, which in full disclosure, I do. Fortunately, local produce is coming into its own right now, so we can keep a regular stock of fruits and vegetables in the house to create the illusion of a healthy lifestyle. Local tomatoes are ready now, which is something we yearn for all year, having survived on the “hot house” variety.
As I was shopping some time ago in the produce section, I was picking out some bananas. I commented to a fellow shopper that bananas go from green to brown-fit-only-for-banana-bread in about 20 minutes. This gentleman assured me that he’s kept them fresh for as long as half an hour. He did clarify that there couldn’t be stops at other locations on the way home, though, because he’d have missed that narrow window of opportunity. They’d be morphing into brown as he’s carrying them into the house.
I’d like to lay out for my readers what is a nutritional plan that my ever-fertile brain has developed over the years. It’s been quite successful, again in my mind, as the topics literally jump out at me. Well, not literally, but in some cases with mildly flashing lights and ringing bells. My hope is to develop these at some point into fully functioning ad campaigns – the kind you see on television right after the newest medications for diseases that are constantly being invented, using complex initials. You know the ones – they typically trail off with “ask your doctor if . . . . . would be good for you.” Then, I’ll take my newly blossoming ideas on the road as inspirational workshops. Any other bloggers that would like to adapt or pass on portions of this may do so, once you’ve obtained the requisite authorizations and paid the permitting fees.
Dark Chocolate. Yes, I’ve always been a huge fan. My wife is still deeply committed to milk chocolate, for reasons unknown to me. It will do in a pinch, but the darker varieties have so much flavor. In full disclosure, I now have to eat the “sugar free” varieties because of high blood sugar, but that’s a small concession to the substantial health benefits. Every so often I come across an expert extolling the wonderful, healthy characteristics of dark chocolate, and as I read, I silently applaud. I should point out that chocolate has been a medicinal staple in all of the Harry Potter books, in fact in much of the wizarding world, for centuries with a high degree of success. We’ve really just scratching the surface on the health benefits of refined cocoa beans. The possibilities are endless – Swiss versus Belgian, dark versus milk chocolates, add a sprinkle of sea salt to feel “beachy”, Ghirardelli Square as a World Heritage Site.
Leafy Greens. These always look so deceptively healthy. OK, lettuce is off the table for a while, but maybe we can substitute a few things that aren’t actually toxic. Something to which we can add tomatoes, shredded carrots, some croutons and bathe it all in a nice, creamy dressing and you’ve got something tasty. Leave off the dressing and you might as well be locked in a cage eating rabbit food. I didn’t realize that the bunnies had a taste palette until my spring flowers started disappearing at an alarming rate. They do eat grass, though, so they’re not as discriminating as we might think. Our daughter told us some time back that kale is, and I quote here, “very tasty”. We tried it in a couple of times, and I beg to differ. I know it’s supposed to be very nutritious, loaded with good things for you, but, all in all, it tastes like grass clippings to me.
Calories. This is really a question mark among us nutritionists, so it will take what I call some “Trumpian Logic”. Too few and we wither up like African violets. Too many and we end up unable to see our shoelaces. So, what to do? There seem to be optimal numbers of calories we should consume each day and each week. I have a simple formula. Muffins at our local supermarket list calories in them. I used to eat two, so I’d double that, but now I’m down to one. (In full disclosure, though, the supermarket next door has larger muffins that the others near us, to I usually get them there.) Then, I multiply that by six, because six is rather a fun number, and then eat what I want for lunch and dinner on the assumption that it’s got to be roughly six times the calories of the muffins. Who said math is useless? Just so you’ll all know – calories are like snowfalls. If you wait long enough, they’ll eventually go away.
Cholesterol. There is a fair bit of confusion surrounding cholesterol, because the medical establishment has identified “good” and “bad”, and I’m not always sure which is which. If we’re honest, all the best tasting stuff is loaded with it. So, perhaps if we mix the good and the bad, keeping a balance, that’s the solution. After all, should we really be banning all the food and drink that provides our olfactory systems with pleasure? Perhaps the scientific community could get busy on this and replace all the bad cholesterol with good cholesterol in everything we like – an even swap that makes us happy. I can accept that.
Coffee and Red Wine. I’ve added these here because both have documented health benefits. Every so often, a report will come out about the French drinking red wine and living well into the hundreds. In fact, way too long, truth be told. First, we’ll read that neither is good for you, and then, out of nowhere, a new research report details all of the minerals and vitamins and great stuff they do for you. As a sustained and ongoing coffee drinker and an occasional consumer of a glass or two of red wine, I naturally subscribe to the “really good for you” school of thinking. When was the last time you saw the phrases “coffee-borne”, “chocolate-borne”, or “red wine-borne” viruses announced? I thought not. Then again, I get every recommended vaccination available, so what do I know?
Snack Foods These tend to be highly processed and typically very tasty, so it’s a dilemma. The Secretary of Health and Human Services, Robert F. Kennedy Jr., has condemned them as very unhealthy. However, he said the same thing about the vaccine for measles, and look where that got us? So, as long as I don’t eat a whole bag of chips in a single sitting, it might not be so bad.
I recommend a daily napping routine in addition to correct eating habits as an essential ingredient to a happy, healthy lifestyle. The nap should be a part of every health and fitness routine. It’s true that some form of exercise is important – I personally have found that my morning dash out to get the newspaper, for example, is very beneficial, and in the warm weather, I water the plants at the same time. In the warm weather, I do some walking and gardening. In the winter, though, my naps pick up the slack. All in all, the afternoon nap, of which I’ve written extensively, has enormous benefits, not the least of which is building an energy base to start cooking dinner, along with staying awake through “Wheel of Fortune” and “Jeopardy”. An afternoon siesta is also particularly useful if someone is visiting that I don’t wish to see. It breaks up the day nicely, and relieves the inherent stress of either expecting to accomplish too much or the guilt of not doing quite enough.
I do hope that this has been enlightening and informative for my readers. Warmest regards, as always.
I'm Thinking...No! 