A friend had come to visit some time ago. Her son had lost his job, something to do with tech sales, and, as one would expect, he was deeply depressed. He’d been looking for some new, and equivalent position, and had interviewed several times, with no results. I suggested that perhaps he might go to the local mall and inquire at the Verizon or Xfinity stores there. They always had signs out that they were hiring. She responded that he couldn’t do that. He felt it would be “taking a step back.” Well, you know what, life is like that. Anyone that thinks that life is a constant upward trajectory is destined to be disappointed. Life is a roller coaster. Moving slowly up and often rushing down.
Unless you win the lottery, and in full disclosure, I have not yet, life will always have its ups and downs. Jobs and careers, economics, family and friends, all factor into the Equation of Life. Yes, I too watch “My Lottery Dream Home”, usually in envy of those out looking for their perfect home. Some of the selections are stunning, while others are head-shakers. Really, that’s what they came up with? I have read about the numbers of lottery winners that have gone bankrupt a few years after collecting their prizes. Can you believe that? I can. Some make really poor choices, and the money overwhelms their judgement. Like the folks who won half a million dollars, and then spent that and another quarter million on a new house. Yes, you too can see where this is going. They lost it all. Their roller coaster not only climbed up, it then ran quickly down and off the tracks.
If you happen to be an elected government official at the local, state, or national level, particularly this year, the realities of a downward trajectory are becoming abundantly clear. Particularly if you were a business owner who sold that business and stuck a large portion of that money into your campaign, then yes, you too will be “taking a step back”. Going into “reflecting and rebuilding” mode. That too is part of the life of someone in public life. And it too affects those in the entertainment industry, particularly as one ages. Watching the “In Memoriam” segments of the Emmys, the Oscars, or any other of the countless award shows, we see any number of the greats that remained busy and active. We sigh in sorrow, with happy remembrances, when their pictures flash on the screen, as we did with Dolly Parton recently, or before that of Bob Newhart and Betty White. Then we see others whose careers, either by choice or happenstance, had faded into distant memory. And we think, “Were they still alive? I thought they died years ago.” Nope, just living in seclusion until . . . .
Life is about setting realistic expectations, isn’t it? My personal roller coaster has leveled off a bit. It doesn’t climb mountains, and I try to keep the descents as gradual as possible. I replaced the batteries in the smoke detectors this past weekend, using the time-honored tradition of using daylight savings as a reminder. It is a bit more difficult, though. I can reach up to take them down for the battery switch, but need a step ladder to get up and reconnect them. To be honest, when we bought this house, the alarms were hardwired in. My thought was, “Great. No more changing batteries.” Then the fire department decreed that all alarms need battery backup, so here I am. Another shallow bit of broken pavement in my life’s roadway. Just when you think everything is going along smoothly, the washing machine breaks down, the refrigerator stops working, or a pipe springs a leak. That last one typically happens at 8 PM, on a weekend – another pothole. Never on a Tuesday morning during normal business hours.
As a teacher, my career trajectory was reasonably successful. I moved from one job and community four times. Two were in the midst of budget cuts and layoffs, and the others were moves up. Overall, I consider myself lucky. I had applied, over the years, for several others, and thank God, I didn’t get them. One memorable position was in an affluent community. I went down for the interview. I thought I’d done pretty well. In fact, the assistant superintendent remarked as he walked me out, that “I don’t think that could have gone better.” Thank you, I thought so too. When he called me a week later to tell me they were pursuing another candidate, I thought, ok. It wasn’t meant to be. In a bit of irony, the person that did take the job was a colleague with whom I later worked on a state music festival. She was shown the door a couple of years later, and asked me to write her a letter of recommendation. (Yes, I did.)
We sometimes offer someone “good luck”. But what, really, is luck all about? I think people many times create luck with a confluence of skill and talent, timing, and opportunity. Sometimes a dash of confidence too. When a door closes, another opens. It doesn’t happen without some contribution on our part. There is an element of chance, of course, but much of that chance is actually opportunity – the ability to seize the moment. Actor Tom Selleck, in an interview for People Magazine a few weeks ago, in an article titled, “Success, Failure, and Getting Lucky”, said “I didn’t rehabilitate myself, or have this tragic life. I had my own share of, certainly, ups-and-downs, but I’ve been very fortunate.” That fortune hasn’t come, though, without perseverance and hard work. He’s a private person in a public profession. His recipe for success? “Show up on time. Put a smile on your face. Do your job.” That’s probably the key to “being lucky”, I think. It’s not always what you think about yourself, although that’s important. But more, it’s what others think about you. That, from time to time, either opens doors or slams them shut.
A dear friend told me that she was so frustrated with her outside plants. They (the plants) kept “dying on her.” Well, they are living things after all, and they have a life cycle. Looking at beautiful “show” gardens in magazines, you have to realize that they’re snapshots in time. A few weeks or a month earlier, they looked very different. Other plants were in full bloom that have since faded, died back. But new plants have blossomed on a different cycle to take their place. And all of them are enhanced by some stalwarts that may not bloom at all, but are noteworthy for their foliage and shape. It’s a coming-together of different elements to create something really worth looking at. That dear friend had switched over to artificial ones, which is fine for her. She doesn’t have either the time or the interest to work on them regularly, which plants need. But I’d find the artificial plantings rather unsatisfying. One of my gardens looked really impressive a couple of years ago, but for some reason, not much came back the next year. I dug it up and am trying again with something new that looks promising. Now, in November, my gardens are on a downward trajectory, so I’ll focus on my houseplants and wait for spring, when it all begins again. That’s the roller coaster of life.
We can certainly look at some notable people, and my guess is that none of them have had a continually upward trajectory. Donald Trump was elected president, then not re-elected, and then elected again. He’s had his fair share of business success and failure. Trump University, and the Trump Shuttle didn’t work out as intended, along with a string of business bankruptcies. And now, he’s become one of the most unpopular presidents since Richard Nixon. What he envisioned as the new “gilded age”, literally, where his magic touch would be all over the capital city to universal applause, hasn’t quite come to pass as he expected. A roller coaster that’s now seemingly on its way down.
So, as comic great Steve Martin once said, a “day without sunshine is . . . night.” Yes, and it’s a cycle. As day into night and back into day, our lives have their moments of bright sunshine, their moments of clouds and rain (or this weekend, snow), and sometimes of intense darkness. It’s important for us to remember that, like my beautifully blooming flowers or my warm sunny mornings on my back porch with my coffee and newspaper, nothing is forever. It’s good too to remember that, when we “take a step back”, when the transmission seems stuck in reverse, there will be a time when it does go back into “drive” and we move forward.
